[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: The Girldots

    Author: rahvyn
    ASL Info:    15/Female/Oregon USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.02 - 9/8/3
    Words: 64
    Class/Type: Poetry/Sorry
    Total Views: 653
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 414

       I wrote this about a friend who has a life worth crying over. I dedicated this to her to let her know that I see her.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Girldots

    Is she lost?
    Is she alone?
    Why has she left her home?
    Is there sorrow?
    Is there pain?
    Why does she sit alone in the rain?
    Are there dreams?
    Are there fears?
    Why will no one dry her tears?
    Why does she hope?
    Why does she cry?
    Does anyone know why?
    Does anyone care?
    Does anyone she her?
    Does she exist at all?

    Submitted on 2005-05-02 15:07:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This gave me the feeling of a fragile young girl, hidden in a corner, as the rain still finds her. She sits alone, and noone offers to help her. It's very sad, but I can relate to this piece, as I'm sure many can. Being alone is such an awful feeling. As humans we need that touch, words, communication, the feel of someone 'needing' us.

    Except for a few grammatical errors, this piece was a very good write! Keep up the good work!
    | Posted on 2005-05-04 00:00:00 | by SouthrnQT | [ Reply to This ]
      Thanks for the advice. It's not one of my best, but it's the first that I've put on her. I had another name on the site, but I haven't used it in so long that I can't get back into it.
    | Posted on 2005-05-02 00:00:00 | by rahvyn | [ Reply to This ]
      It flowed well. The idea has been used before though. it is old and tired and in order for it to capture the attention of others you need to make it more creative more visual..more of your own. personalize it..dont be afraid to put your feelings out there.
    | Posted on 2005-05-02 00:00:00 | by brokensmile | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]