Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
    • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
    • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Immortaldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Tekin_Kashami
    ASL Info:    13/male/Houston, Texas
    Elite Ratio:    4.4 - 131/77/22
    Words: 72
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 341
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 510



    Description:
       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Immortaldots
    -------------------------------------------


    The body grows weak
    Doom slowly overcomes
    The mind start to fade,
    To the shadow it succumbs
    The mind loses control,
    So insanity can reign
    The weak body shivers
    In a way inhumane
    The cool drink from the goblet
    Made from gold and ruby fire
    The fickle sweet liquid
    Formed by draconian desire
    The magical life floes free
    A mighty river un-dammed
    The immortal’s great curse;
    On him death’s door slammed




    Submitted on 2005-05-02 15:14:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is very good. Interesting details given in this poem too. I would have to say immortality is definitely a curse. You would have to see everyone you love, die. And with the way this world is going, it wont be so great so many years down the line. I have seen so much change just in the years that I have been alive and not much has been for the better. It may be interesting to be able to see how the world evolves so many years away but maybe I would prefer to be a spirit. Death is a natural result of life and in order to experience life, you must experience death. Hopefully I live to be very old though and still young at heart!Nice poem. Take care.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-11-03 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this write
    it flows quite beautifully explaining life
    As we get older a lot of us dread death and are afraid of it
    I am not rushing death but I am not afraid of it
    If I died tommorow i would move forward from there
    How can you be afraid of that
    thats the beauty of life everlasting


    Great WriteTekin
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-10-25 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this. Living forever isn't a great gift but a curse to those who have to go though it. i really loved this and hope to read more soon.
    | Posted on 2005-05-02 00:00:00 | by Akili | [ Reply to This ]



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.