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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Immortaldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Tekin_Kashami
    ASL Info:    18/male/Houston, Texas
    Elite Ratio:    4.39 - 131/77/23
    Words: 72
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 1106
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 510



    Description:
       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?


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    dotsThe Immortaldots
    -------------------------------------------


    The body grows weak
    Doom slowly overcomes
    The mind start to fade,
    To the shadow it succumbs
    The mind loses control,
    So insanity can reign
    The weak body shivers
    In a way inhumane
    The cool drink from the goblet
    Made from gold and ruby fire
    The fickle sweet liquid
    Formed by draconian desire
    The magical life floes free
    A mighty river un-dammed
    The immortalís great curse;
    On him deathís door slammed




    Submitted on 2005-05-02 15:14:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is very good. Interesting details given in this poem too. I would have to say immortality is definitely a curse. You would have to see everyone you love, die. And with the way this world is going, it wont be so great so many years down the line. I have seen so much change just in the years that I have been alive and not much has been for the better. It may be interesting to be able to see how the world evolves so many years away but maybe I would prefer to be a spirit. Death is a natural result of life and in order to experience life, you must experience death. Hopefully I live to be very old though and still young at heart!Nice poem. Take care.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-11-03 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this write
    it flows quite beautifully explaining life
    As we get older a lot of us dread death and are afraid of it
    I am not rushing death but I am not afraid of it
    If I died tommorow i would move forward from there
    How can you be afraid of that
    thats the beauty of life everlasting


    Great WriteTekin
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-10-25 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this. Living forever isn't a great gift but a curse to those who have to go though it. i really loved this and hope to read more soon.
    | Posted on 2005-05-02 00:00:00 | by Akili | [ Reply to This ]


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