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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: She was to be named ...Lilydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: SouthrnQT
    ASL Info:    24/ Female/ Florida
    Elite Ratio:    4.51 - 290/271/31
    Words: 132
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1697
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 944



    Description:
       If anyone has ever lost a child, they can relate. Though I would have been a teenage mother, I would have given anything for that child that grew inside of me. To this day that one event has helped me to grow and learn. Even as a speaker on teenage pregnancy.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsShe was to be named ...Lilydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Tiny, bulbous droplets of blood fall to the floor
    Even within the confines of this surgical view
    Alarms dinging, bells ringing, people shouting
    'Code Blue'
    The words echoing in my mind
    Still....still I could hear the blood splash upon the floor
    Still groggy from exertion, hours of labor
    Yet...there was silence, where there should be cries
    No magical moments of bliss
    Just silence
    Even my heart could feel the icy grip of death stealing the life from the room
    So young, still I knew
    As faces grimm stepped from my bedside
    Eyes low, inspecting the floor
    I knew....
    'There's nothing more we can do'
    Those words still haunt my sleep

    She was to be named Lily.......
    Sleep in heavenly slumber she does
    The clouds...her pillows
    Sleep well little one
    Sleep well.........




    Submitted on 2005-05-03 12:38:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I remember this. You've been through so much, it's nice to see that you're able to get some of this junk out of your soul and out into the open. If this is how you can vent it away, keep it up. I can't help but cry reading this, and I can't help but want to reach out and hug you. You've got such a big heart, use it wisely Avry, you deserve a chance to be happy, to have love, to know what being loved is all about. Don't run away anymore, stick it out and show the world who you are, the girl I know is worth so much more than what she's shown.

    Blessed by his grace,

    Sorrel
    | Posted on 2006-02-23 00:00:00 | by SorrelsReality | [ Reply to This ]
      There's no words. There's nothing I can say except that it is excellent. The way the words flow and weave and pull you in. They let you in, into this world. A helpless mother losing her child. And to think people abort their children as if they were piles of trash.
    | Posted on 2005-09-16 00:00:00 | by She Is Insane | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm trying to figure out something to comment, but finding that I just can't. This is so personal, so painful.
    I have two daughters myself, one of them when I was a teen. I can't begin to imagine that pain.
    This is beautifully written and definitely conveys the pain and anguish of that night. I'm so sorry.
    Traci
    | Posted on 2005-09-15 00:00:00 | by onetruesmartass | [ Reply to This ]
      Avry,
    First of all, bravo for speaking on teenage pregnancy there are not enough of you around.

    This was a very emotional poem that was written extremely well. Your descriptions and what you felt are so clear. I read this and was touched by your ability to write this in such a beautiful way as to describe a scene that I feel must have been extremely scary and distressing for you.

    “Still…still I could hear…”
    “Still…”
    The pause with the first line…and the repetition of the word in the second – that is powerful and well done. It may have just been me, but the words that followed seemed just fillers (not saying that in a bad way) the “Still” was what touched the heart strings. I can only see you, realizing that Lily was “still” and the burning into your soul that scene in the hospital – the sounds, the smells, the people…”still” within you…

    My heart goes out to you the loss of a child at any age is never easy or “ok” (just because you were young). Someday, my friend, you will hold that life in your hands, cuddle the warmth of sunshine within your arms and your child will be most loved by that generous and warm heart you possess.

    Beautiful and incredible piece Avry
    *Hugs to you *(this time from me)
    Lisa
    | Posted on 2005-09-13 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]
      I can't even begin to imagine the pain you feel for the loss of your child. I myself am the father of a 3 year old son and I don't know what I would do if anything ever happened to him. this poem makes me appreciate him all that much more. I am truely and deeply sorry for your loss but I do believe as you appear to by the ending of your poem that your child is in a better place and is waiting to be with you again someday.
    | Posted on 2005-09-10 00:00:00 | by Kapone | [ Reply to This ]
      Cold chills ran up my spine as I read this piece.I'm so sorry for your loss. That sounds rediculous I know. I'm glad that you were able to share this with us in such well written detail. The pain and loss for one single moment truly became mine.
    Hang Tough,
    Sageeriol
    | Posted on 2005-08-18 00:00:00 | by sageeriol | [ Reply to This ]
      This is touching. I am glad that you could share this with elite readers. My sister lost her daughter at 7 1/2 months. I don't know how she delt with it. You are a strong person. :)
    LeAnna
    | Posted on 2005-07-10 00:00:00 | by RedRoseofBlood | [ Reply to This ]
      i had no idea. i'm sorry. how painful...silence where there should be cries...then crying in response to that silence...i'm sorry.
    | Posted on 2005-05-23 00:00:00 | by treybur | [ Reply to This ]
      This is so very heart-wretching. I threatened miscarriages with 2 of my four children, and my oldest son was born with a Apgar of 2. He was too big (almost 11 lbs). That knowing there's something wrong is a horrible feeling. I was lucky enough that CRP and oxygen worked on Caleb. I am sorry that it didn't work out that way for you.
    It is nice to see that you've found some peace in the tragedy, but i know that it doesn't make up for not having her with you. I've always thought that Lily is a beautiful name.
    No structural comments n this piece, but this is a peice of your heart and as such the rest is of little consequence.
    jan
    | Posted on 2005-05-20 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      I have been throught this myself. Although I actually gave birth at home... I was only 14, it was really sad. I am now 7 1/2 months pregnant with my second child. I have had 3 miscarriages, and I also have a son. This time it's a girl, and I'm hoping and praying that everything goes right.

    This poem really touched me. I don't think it needs further explanation.

    Keep up the great work.
    | Posted on 2005-05-19 00:00:00 | by Unicorn Poet | [ Reply to This ]
      damn, this is so sad. i'm sorry that this had to happen to you. two of my friends have had miscarriages, but really early on. i think that's what scares me the most, because i would lose my mind. i can't imagine... but, be strong. keep your head up high... ...bb...

    XoXo
    ~TaY~
    | Posted on 2005-05-07 00:00:00 | by Phoenix2004 | [ Reply to This ]
      She was to be named Lily...
    Sleep in heavenly slumber she does
    The clouds...her pillows
    Sleep well little one
    Sleep well...

    Absolutely delivers the emotion home.
    My sister had a miscarriage... it was very sad for all of us, even now I still imagine what our lives are missing without the child who should be making tiny footsteps.

    This was really emotional, I could really experience it and relate to it second hand. Very good write you delivered the topic perfectly
    | Posted on 2005-05-04 00:00:00 | by dark-red-pain | [ Reply to This ]
      a miscarriage. you delivered it quite amazingly. you picked up from right in the middle of the action that ended in tragedy. like the way you made the reader visualise everything that was occurent of the moment. well at least, i was able to project a clear image of what was happening. and lily is such a pretty name...
    | Posted on 2005-05-04 00:00:00 | by serpentarius | [ Reply to This ]
      im crying right now QT. Wow. I want a child of my own someday. want a daughter more. I dont know what i would do. Anyway, this was a great poem. it was very deep. Raw emotion. heck it even brought tears to my eyes. you are very strong as a writter and a person. Fly high! in my eyes youll allways soar.
    | Posted on 2005-05-03 00:00:00 | by Saint | [ Reply to This ]
      This was really sad. Did you experince this?
    I'm sorry if you did.
    my sister has had 3 miscarriage's
    this had really good flow.
    I don't see anything wrong with this
    my fav line was

    "Tiny, bulbous droplets of blood fall to the floor
    Even within the confines of this surgical view."

    great discription. i don't know what else to say hope to hear from you.
    keep writing.
    | Posted on 2005-05-03 00:00:00 | by seven11 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is very sad. My friend recently has a miscarriage and i know what she went through.i relate to this poem well, this is exactly how she felt.
    | Posted on 2005-05-03 00:00:00 | by vedanta19 | [ Reply to This ]
      It has always been my feeling that the very best poetry comes from inspiration, sometimes born of happiness, sometimes pain. I understood, as much as a man can, the pain and sadness of your lose in this piece. It is a tribute to your talent that you were able to write as beautiful work as you have dispite the hurt you have endured. Thank you for sharing, Dan
    | Posted on 2005-06-03 00:00:00 | by dmm | [ Reply to This ]
      Ah, words are inadequate to the burdens of the heart. There are no words of comfort or support that will ever sooth the pain of something like this. I can't be objective about this poem, nor offer any criticisms of merit.

    Lily. That IS her name, and it's a beautiful one.
    | Posted on 2005-06-21 00:00:00 | by Vancrown | [ Reply to This ]
      No one can speak of absolute heart ache until they have to bury their child. That has got to be every parents worst nightmare coming to reality. Life often times takes us through events and during those events we are often shouting why? why me? why now? why? yet if we listen closely enough we hear answers.

    This is just an amazing piece and though it is a very personal one to you and one in which I can not relate to it is still going to my favorites. why you ask? because of the eloquent way in which you delivered this love, loss and pain...

    Many blessings to you...and remember always smile because Lily is always watching...
    | Posted on 2005-09-09 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice piece. It conveyed loss very well. The emotion seeped through the words nicely. A solemn piece for sure as well as descriptive. Nice write.
    | Posted on 2005-05-19 00:00:00 | by Malcolm Bishop | [ Reply to This ]


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