Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Nightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: samyalone
    ASL Info:    17/f/my room
    Elite Ratio:    3.85 - 93/67/18
    Words: 76
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1031
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 485



    Description:
       I wrote this to all those who self-injure...people my not cut to kill themselves but accidents do happen and this is what i wrote it about.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Blood stained arms, bruised up legs
    these are her crys for help,
    No one hears them, no one sees
    But they get her all she needs,
    A razor's edge, a hammer too
    this is how she gets through life,
    Her dark cold eyes, her cold pale flesh
    the silent screams heard too late,
    The flashing light, the lifeless night
    a blanket covers her face,
    The crying mother, a lonely father
    all because of their dead daughter.




    Submitted on 2005-05-03 19:23:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      very good portray of emotions. just makes you think that if you do cutt, you could have a little accident one time. very well written:) i enjoyed it very much
    ashley
    | Posted on 2005-07-14 00:00:00 | by star_on_fire22 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really great, this is really powerful. You should be proud of this piece, it made the tears well up in my eyes, made me catch my breath.
    The only criticism I have is in the line
    >>the silent screams heard, too late,<<
    I don't think there should be a comma after the heard, I understand why you have it there, but I think it would work better without it.
    Never Stop Writing
    -Caribou-
    | Posted on 2005-05-25 00:00:00 | by painofthanatos | [ Reply to This ]
      It was great. . and the meaning I can more than relate! Yet, the ending just kindof . . well. .stopped! Like I think you could have added more to it! But It was still really good!
    | Posted on 2005-05-03 00:00:00 | by Blindly-N-Love | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    57311

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry