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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Brokendots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: samyalone
    ASL Info:    17/f/my room
    Elite Ratio:    3.85 - 93/67/18
    Words: 73
    Class/Type: Poetry/Broken
    Total Views: 1201
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 450



    Description:
       I wrote this quickly in french class all over my arm. The teacher caught me and had to cut it off...should i continue it or leave it where it is???


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBrokendots
    -------------------------------------------


    Broken into peices,
    And scattered on the floor
    Trying to get back,
    To the way It was before

    The past severly wounded It,
    to the ground It gave a fall
    The present once had crushed It,
    And shattered It over all.

    The future will come to aide It,
    And put together again It shall be
    It is my hope, my spirit
    And It will be saved; you'll see





    Submitted on 2005-05-03 19:26:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I think the person who is gonna comment on you useing the word IT is me, alright.
    And the only reason I would bring this up, is , I really enjoyed your write. Sometimes you don't have to have more to tell us, I like the length of Broken.
    | Posted on 2005-05-03 00:00:00 | by childs | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked it. It had good meaning however it was rather short. I can think of someone who will probly comment about your "overuse of the word IT" however I realise that you had a purpose for using the same word. Repitition can be good if used in the right way and that was definitly the right way. Good job!
    | Posted on 2005-05-03 00:00:00 | by PiecesOfMyHeart | [ Reply to This ]
      It could stay like that Its good that way. But I think that adding some more to it wouldnt hurt. I think that you can always have more input into stuff (well not always because some people over detail lol) Well you did a pretty good job, but you can still add more. And hey if you dont like it just crumple it up and act like it never happened lol. and keep it like this! Keep it up!
    | Posted on 2005-05-03 00:00:00 | by Blindly-N-Love | [ Reply to This ]


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