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Once furnished a castle, England square Kings, Queens, battles fought above me there Once was in Spain, a Spanish bungalow And that fitting farewell in Rome, somewhere Indeed it was an impressive achievement The church, the father and thousands of dollars When he spun around and said, ‘How much for it all?’ Torn, Ripped, Sanded, then Shaped Piled us up, a quarter of the way, Cut, Wrap, Shipped and Packed To be put overseas onto a silver steel rack Off to Beverly Hills, under a 4 inch high, stiletto heel Then overlooked and overexposed that morning of New Years Eve After that, a fogged color yellow two room condo To a mock prison sink inside a pink apartment, with a tweaked weary shower pole, someone stole On a discount line, close out stand Daddy held us tight Cleaned us up, almost right, so we could move inside See, things may change in time Once I furnished a castle, a family neighborhood I tried to conceal it, for about as long as I could But just to the left Under my glare Her barefoot step, often revealed A hopeless color red |
i love the way your words flow. and the images from the presision of them. I don't know im bad on commenting but ... there is something about it that sticks out from most stuff i've read.| Posted on 2005-05-10 00:00:00 | by isis_lenore | [ Reply to This ] | the way that you used your words really touched me! you have a really good talent! I could never do something like that. i jus can't believe how you got the flow of the poem so well and it really grabs you and gets your attention! well I love it good write. Goodluck with writing! love always Evie Zimora | | Posted on 2005-05-04 00:00:00 | by Evie | [ Reply to This ] | P.S...I love the reference to Bauhaus (if that's what it is) in the title | ![]() | Posted on 2005-05-04 00:00:00 | by nebnim | [ Reply to This ] | I've read quite a few pieces of your work now. You have a beautiful way with words (I'm a little mentally dull at the moment, so I'll have to wait for another time to give you a more in depth comment) I just wanted to say that I love how you write, the ideas that inspire you to write these things. It's very unique. Be well | ![]() | Posted on 2005-05-04 00:00:00 | by nebnim | [ Reply to This ] | I find nothing confusing about your writings ~ 'i' believe that 1 must not be intimidated but open to the message. You always have such powerful messages so eloquently tucked away within your equally as powerful words. Very beautiful! Love,Peace,Joy! | | Posted on 2005-05-04 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ] | i am with this person, really confusing, i don't get it either it is really jumpy. but that is just me. it was a really good poem to it is one of the greatest taht i have read to date, but, really confusing. so i leave you at this keep writing. THNX | ![]() - Nammy | Posted on 2005-05-03 00:00:00 | by Namlooc20 | [ Reply to This ] | I'm kind of confused. I don't see what this is. I might just be in a closed mind kind of mood but if you could enlighten me I might feel better. The flow is great though, and your use of words is always great. But I would still like to be enlightened | | Posted on 2005-05-03 00:00:00 | by ashlee_jane2003 | [ Reply to This ] | |