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    dots Submission Name: Terminal Discorddots

    Author: SouthrnQT
    ASL Info:    24/ Female/ Florida
    Elite Ratio:    4.51 - 290/271/31
    Words: 99
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 1156
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 745

       This was re-done. I fixed it up a little, changed it and what not.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTerminal Discorddots

    These voices
    Relentlessly haunting me
    Echoeing within the confines of my mind

    Trying to eliviate the pressure
    Cupping my ears with my palms
    The pounding...why won't it cease?
    Coupled with crazy thoughts, wicked memories

    Thrashing upon the glacial tile
    The desire for silence incombent

    Death my only retort as the trenchant blade strikes my veins
    Tears fall from my eyes, causing silken rivers upon my cheeks
    Crimson spills from my vessel, flooding the underbelly of where this core shall expire

    In a terminal daze, the choirs of shrilling noise subside.....
    My life now...foreclosed


    Submitted on 2005-05-04 10:00:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Surely you could not have experienced such hurt? If so, my heart, and shoulder go out to you. This poem is very heart breaking, but so well written. Not many people can take you to that place, right there where you can feel the blade slice your skin. You have much talent and a creative edge. All the more reason for me to read your writings.

    In awe- Grey
    | Posted on 2005-09-08 00:00:00 | by Greyson | [ Reply to This ]
      amazing. such a short piece, yet it takes you from horrific and mind-wrenching chaos to a slow sleeping peace, the end of pain. your words keep finding their way deep down in here somewhere...
    | Posted on 2005-05-23 00:00:00 | by treybur | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought this was great. the metaphors and symbols i thought accurately described the sensation of death quite well. for some reason i felt the banshees didnt fit very well but over all...it was very clear and appeasing to the senses.
    | Posted on 2005-05-04 00:00:00 | by Sun | [ Reply to This ]
      This was really good. I really like your work. you are a good writer. The end was great i loved how you find peace in the end. the discrption was good and the imagery i got from this piece was really really really good. i would use a bigger word but i can't spell to save my life.
    Keep up the good work. hope to hear from you.
    | Posted on 2005-05-04 00:00:00 | by seven11 | [ Reply to This ]

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