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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Family Secretsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: marysunshine
    ASL Info:    30, Female,
    Elite Ratio:    4.48 - 610/705/75
    Words: 176
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 365
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1181



    Description:
       These are two true stories about my family passed down. It's funny what kind of skeletons we've all got hangin around. I'm not sure I actually like it though...we'll see.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFamily Secretsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Family secret I

    Aunt Margaret Halliday
    was shoved down the stairs
    while pregnant with Sammy her son,
    (Never born).
    Her psychiatrist husband
    had rendered her schizoid
    by shoving his mad science-meds in her mouth
    in hopes of a prize
    to sit on his mantle
    (shined daily by lab-rat Aunt Margaret herself).
    The good doctor died (a long time ago),
    but poor Margaret Halliday sits in a chair
    a-rocking her personalities quiet
    alone in a home to this day.

    Family secret II

    Great grandfather Frank
    was stabbed to his death
    while his namesake (my grandpa)
    lay safe in the womb.
    Got caught and was killed
    while stealing dear whiskey
    from the bar of the brothers Amato (the scum).
    Old Frank was an Irish
    (transplanted from Erin)
    and had quite a habit of drinkin' to feed,
    so took he the hooch instead of the loot,
    and left his six sons and his wife to meet God.
    Poor Celia (his wife) forgave the Amatos,
    and saved them from hangin'(so they died in jail).




    Submitted on 2005-05-04 14:22:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I envy your ability to always stay fresh. This is original in both style and content. The stories are intriguing and with some elaboration would read nicely at a campfire.

    I'm easing my way back in and at this time I don't feel qualified to make any suggestions. Then again, I rarely do with your work anyway. It's just always such a pleasure to read your stuff.
    | Posted on 2005-05-07 00:00:00 | by deadndreaming | [ Reply to This ]
      and I thought my family put the fun in dysfunction...I like this well enough and it is hard to top the comments already given ( oh boy). It is organized and I think I like the first family secret better. The second family secret seemed too long or something- it just wasn't quite as smooth as the first.

    I love how the first family secret reads like some warped Shel Silverstein for adults. I can just see the illustrations.
    The second family secret is written well too Mary, but something about the momentum in the last lines falls flat for me. Maybe it is just me.
    I am glad to discover there are other "family secrets" that rival mine...take care Mary- Rene'
    | Posted on 2005-05-05 00:00:00 | by Magnolia | [ Reply to This ]



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