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Family Secrets

Author: marysunshine
ASL Info:    34, Female,
Elite Ratio:    4.48 - 610 /705 /75
Words: 176
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1696
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1181


These are two true stories about my family passed down. It's funny what kind of skeletons we've all got hangin around. I'm not sure I actually like it though...we'll see.

Family Secrets

Family secret I

Aunt Margaret Halliday
was shoved down the stairs
while pregnant with Sammy her son,
(Never born).
Her psychiatrist husband
had rendered her schizoid
by shoving his mad science-meds in her mouth
in hopes of a prize
to sit on his mantle
(shined daily by lab-rat Aunt Margaret herself).
The good doctor died (a long time ago),
but poor Margaret Halliday sits in a chair
a-rocking her personalities quiet
alone in a home to this day.

Family secret II

Great grandfather Frank
was stabbed to his death
while his namesake (my grandpa)
lay safe in the womb.
Got caught and was killed
while stealing dear whiskey
from the bar of the brothers Amato (the scum).
Old Frank was an Irish
(transplanted from Erin)
and had quite a habit of drinkin' to feed,
so took he the hooch instead of the loot,
and left his six sons and his wife to meet God.
Poor Celia (his wife) forgave the Amatos,
and saved them from hangin'(so they died in jail).

Submitted on 2005-05-04 14:22:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  I envy your ability to always stay fresh. This is original in both style and content. The stories are intriguing and with some elaboration would read nicely at a campfire.

I'm easing my way back in and at this time I don't feel qualified to make any suggestions. Then again, I rarely do with your work anyway. It's just always such a pleasure to read your stuff.
| Posted on 2005-05-07 00:00:00 | by deadndreaming | [ Reply to This ]
  and I thought my family put the fun in dysfunction...I like this well enough and it is hard to top the comments already given ( oh boy). It is organized and I think I like the first family secret better. The second family secret seemed too long or something- it just wasn't quite as smooth as the first.

I love how the first family secret reads like some warped Shel Silverstein for adults. I can just see the illustrations.
The second family secret is written well too Mary, but something about the momentum in the last lines falls flat for me. Maybe it is just me.
I am glad to discover there are other "family secrets" that rival mine...take care Mary- Rene'
| Posted on 2005-05-05 00:00:00 | by Magnolia | [ Reply to This ]

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