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    dots Submission Name: Wrong Way Outdots

    Author: Kitty
    ASL Info:    14/F/Vermont
    Elite Ratio:    2.51 - 23/29/12
    Words: 262
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 703
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1867

       Anything and everything to make this better

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    dotsWrong Way Outdots

    She takes a breath
    Locks the doors
    She's home alone
    Hours to kill

    She kneels at her alter
    Clasping her rosary in her hand
    Tears stream down her face
    She prays

    She strokes a stuffed animal
    Her mascara runs
    She kisses a picture of her sister
    She whispers her love for everyone

    She lines up the bottles
    sorts out the pills
    In neat little piles of seven
    She looks at them all

    She holds the blade in her hands
    Sees its affect against her wrists
    Presses it against her breast
    And lays the blade aside

    She walks down the stairs
    She draws the water in her tub
    She checks the tempature
    Stares at her reflection

    She takes her father's gun
    Feels the weight in her hands
    The cold metal against her temple
    She moves on

    She ties a rope in her closet
    Makes a loop
    Pulls it tight around her neck
    Tests her weight

    She goes under the sink
    Takes the bleach
    Smells It
    And makes up her mind

    She makes herself hot chocolate
    her favorite drink
    She swallows her pills
    Turns her music up loud

    Comfortable on the bed
    In her favorite clothes
    Holds a teddy tight
    Squeezes her eyes shut

    She prays to God
    For forgiveness

    The phone rings
    The answering machine comes on
    Her mother's voice
    "I love you" it says

    It jolts her
    She was fading
    She panics

    This is wrong
    It's got to stop
    She's trembling
    Is it too late...?

    Submitted on 2005-05-04 17:59:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Wow, this is really touching. Maybe because i relate to it so much. I really understand this and can feel the feelings. It flows well and tells a story simply yet effectively. I like how much detail and description you put into this... good job.
    | Posted on 2005-05-07 00:00:00 | by dark-red-pain | [ Reply to This ]
      Thanks peoples. It's kinda the way I used to think about the best way to kill myself. I think I like expreesing myself this way, though. Sorry Jeremy. Something bad just happened so I'm in a permanent bad mood. I am really sorry though Jeremy. :(
    | Posted on 2005-05-06 00:00:00 | by Kitty | [ Reply to This ]
      it tells the story really well..the poem kinda puts me there. i have several poems like this one and i love this kind of read...keep up the good work...id like to see more of your stuff.
    | Posted on 2005-05-06 00:00:00 | by Enleigh | [ Reply to This ]
      Unlike the comment you left me... I did read your poem. It was indeed sad... but it was.. good to read (I'd say enjoyable, but enjoyable to a poem that is about something depressing, just isn't the right word to use). I didn't ask for the comment you gave me though... I don't see why people like reminding me how much they hate me... I've heard it enough and I still don't care. But besides that, good poem.
    | Posted on 2005-05-04 00:00:00 | by shepj | [ Reply to This ]

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