Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Forgivenessdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: StarAcabar
    ASL Info:    21/F/Norway/England
    Elite Ratio:    3.56 - 202/261/64
    Words: 313
    Class/Type: Prose/Sorry
    Total Views: 622
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1893



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsForgivenessdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Of all the things you could have said to me,
    You chose the one I didn't want to hear.
    The things you've said and done, to apologise...
    It's just not worth my time.
    You should be down on your knees begging!
    Begging me to forgive you,
    Begging me to not stop loving you,
    You should be begging for my love.
    And yet...As I look into your eyes...
    All doubt fades away.
    I can't not forgive you.
    I am yours.
    My heart is yours.
    My mind is yours.
    If we married, my body would be yours.
    As much of me as I can give to you is yours.
    And you are mine.
    We belong together.
    I look into your eyes as you say one single word.
    Empty eyes, despairing if forgiveness isn't found.
    The eyes that say a million things.
    No tears, no sound, no movement.
    My heart that is yours is telling me that you have hurt me.
    My mind that is yours is telling me that you are not worthy of forgiveness.
    My body is shivering like a leaf in a cold winter breeze.
    Why should I forgive you for what you did?
    How can I forgive you for what you did?
    What will you do if I forgive you for what you did?
    I don't know the answers.
    I will never really know the answers.
    You turn away.
    Stop!
    I forgave you the first time you looked at me.
    The first time we met, I forgave you everything you would ever do wrong against me.
    Sorry doesn't mean much.
    Forgiveness means everything.
    You said sorry when you were already forgiven.
    I can't not forgive you.
    I am yours.
    My heart is yours.
    My mind is yours.
    If we married, my body would be yours.
    As much of me as I can give to you is yours.
    And you are mine.




    Submitted on 2005-05-05 07:06:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      absolutely loved this prose! you wrote it with such emotion that one can't help but to follow every single word to the very end.

    there was one line in here that was just a big bump on this poetic road "I can't not forgive you." It would read so much better if you were to rephrase...perhaps "I can't help but to forgive you." or something like that.

    anyhoo...bra-vo!
    | Posted on 2005-05-18 00:00:00 | by Brownsdelight | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem shows a big proportion of emotion, but lacks a certain strength and self-respect for yourself. The thing you might have put in here is what the person did or why you are madly in love with this person.
    This gave off something from a heart that seems hurt too much for it to happen again.
    Iíve been a certain situation where the person hurt me and I stayed with them until I found out other wise and I was just Ö..It sucked lets keep it there.

    This was a great write I like how it shows the compassion for the person and how you state the person has your mind and soon your body. I like it.

    ACE
    | Posted on 2005-05-05 00:00:00 | by Ace | [ Reply to This ]
      well where in the sam hill have u been?!?!?!?!?!
    eh-em, sorry, lost control for a second. where were we? oh yeah, poetry! hey, this is great! seriously, i totally enjoyed reading it. it's very similar to my style, to the way i think, i could've written this (but not about a guy...nooooooo wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy). so, beautiful job :)
    | Posted on 2005-05-05 00:00:00 | by treybur | [ Reply to This ]
      this was a beautiful poem so much love emotion acceptance it makes me want to cry because it seems as though you have so much to give and you have been taken for granteed. I think it was a quote i heard "love means never having to say your sorry" i think most ppl know that a women in love always forgives i will call it a curse. men are so not worthy of what we have to give. i think of them as scum if sercumstances would change the would think twice about forgiving. anyways good write keep it up. Theres so much beauty in what you have to say
    | Posted on 2005-06-02 00:00:00 | by Natie | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    57515

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry