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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Insane(The memory condems u)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 115
    Class/Type: Poetry/Trapped
    Total Views: 774
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 693



    Description:
       Bah I don't know what this is...tell me what you see.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsInsane(The memory condems u)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Reality is fakeing
    I drown into the depths of every hypoctitical memory

    the memory of falling down
    the memory of blaming you
    the memory of your face, a face that pleads insanity
    for some reason I think that you know what you do

    My life is changing
    Changing into blurry lies that only know what is wrong
    and I scream for justice
    you serve me well
    or maybe you just don't know that I see you
    that I see you are just like me
    so willing to die as long as you bleed

    and now we are both insane
    complaining about being locked inside this place
    this memory




    Submitted on 2005-05-05 12:01:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      a memory can drag you to great hieghts or to great lows, but most of all it reminds you of the esennce of life and the aura of living being and the ability to relay past experience into present texture, you blend your words together perfectly a great poem and a increasing longing to read more of your writeing, i wil eventually get around to it, i love your style, and your simple grace in forming a complex stanza into a simple format that is understandble by any means, i get the picture you were hurt before by sumone dear to you, but didnt understand the pressure you were applying to that person yourself, your memorys slowly grow and creep past your state of mental and pysical awarness taking over, driving one "insane", tahts my image of it, when i read this i can close my eyes and see the streams of light and a ball of darkness flow slowly coverign and carressing the light glow untill in position to choke the life "sanity" out of the ball, emotional floods will bring you much experience, never stop writeing you are a god given gift to the writing community and it would be a dam shame to lose you at this point, i hope to see alot more, and here your life story as i look forward to telling you mine, if you wish to know it ,
    sincerly
    obsidian
    | Posted on 2005-05-18 00:00:00 | by obsidiandreams | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmm this a mixture of things to get from here. I get a sort of feeling that the image portrayed is someone not wishing to blame another, because at times we get so frustrated we just blame people that really are blameless.

    i.e: the memory of falling down
    the memory of blaming you
    the memory of your face, a face that pleads insanity
    for some reason I think that you know what you do

    This is a good poem, I just wish i could explain more what I get out of it. Everything seems so complex, I mean I have a meaning but i can't seem to portray it with words. You did good with emotional imagery and I like that. Take care...

    --Geremy--
    | Posted on 2005-05-06 00:00:00 | by Geremy Smith | [ Reply to This ]
      unfortuantely i actaully do understand where you're coming from and can see through the apparent meaning to what underlyes, and it is just that. you know what it is, who am i to tell you what your writing means, i can only tell you me reaction, and what it 'tis to me, i know what it is to you, and i like the form of writing you personified
    | Posted on 2005-05-05 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]
      to tell you the truth, I have absoulutely no idea of what you're talking about in this poem. But i love it! i mean, everything makes sense seperately. but the different parts don't all go together.

    that I see you are just like me
    so willing to die as long as you bleed

    and now we are both insane
    complaining about being locked inside this place
    this memory

    this was my favorite part. ^.^ you have great potential, but somehow you need to get your thoughts together before you write a poem. I struggle with this too. it's hard to find and follow a specific concept throughout a poem. but if you don't it will sound unorginized and it won't make sense. good luck!
    | Posted on 2005-05-05 00:00:00 | by darkness child | [ Reply to This ]


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