wow i liked this poem it described a relationships up and downs perfectly then to see after you have played the game you realize that you have found love i dont consider it a dangerous game as long as you are happy
thank you for your comments on sunshine im glad you enjoyed it
I like this. I can kind of relate in a way. I know the feeling and I'm sure most people do. But your poem really kind of made me realize it. I like the whole good girl/bad boy thing. God...I HATE infatuation. Especially when whoever your infatuated with doesnt feel the same way about you. ...I suppose these things happen. But anywho, I really enjoyed reading this. Great job :-)
this was kind of sing songy, so that was a definite plus. i liked the repitition as well, and i can honestly say, i've found myself in that position before. so, yeah, this was nice, i wonder if you put music to it... anyway, ...bb...
I kinda liked it and found myself humming a mental tune and singing along towards the end. It is a little repetitive, but thats how music is and everything can be a song. But thats just me...I tend to think in rhyme and rhythm most of the times because its easier to remember things.
Okay I'm feeling the whole good girl/bad boy vision but the whole repetition just made me think of a card from Mr. Deeds...it just made this honest emotion (that I'm sure some readers can relate to) seem... well, phony.
I feel you have a good thing here that you are trying to express but this just needs some refinishing to make it a more enjoyable read that will earn you more comments.