Description: I was a curious child...this is one of my strongest memories. There is still a hole in the wall at my parent's house where my dad kicked it in frustration at not being able to get the bead out himself.
The Pearls -------------------------------------------
When just a girl of three
dressed up like a grown lay-dee
with heels that went clack
and a pocketbook black
glowing pearls that shined like the sea.
Settling down like a queen on a throne
Peeking 'round I found me alone
with a devilish grin
I committed my sin
with a yank the pearls spilled unbeknown.
Later atop daddy's knee
can you guess then what he did see?
Lo and behold
stuck a pearl up my nose
and it was off to emergency.
hahaha i love this! specially how it was written in limerick the whole way through gives it a childish feel i love the ending, it reminds me of this one time when my sister and i were playing dont spill the beans and she stuck one up her nose and couldnt get it out but my mom used a tissue and told her to blow haha
i was never one to play dress up but this was cute :D
This was a fun read, light-hearted and sure to evoke a bit of nostalgia from any reader, as they think about their own childhood misadventures, (I could a write a book of nothing but-, curious and inventive lass that I was!)
In the first stanza, I noticed you said the pearls "shined" like the sea, -it should be "shone",-but then I looked at "lay-dee", and thought maybe it was intentional,-that you were going for the three-year old voice,-and that would be "shined" . It does fit with child-like lilting rhyme so I went on. Just two other little things I noticed, -first, -I think you meant "Lo and behold", and in the last line, I think it scans better if you omit the "the" in front of emergency.
Good One, thanks for cheering me up tonight! Sally
*ouch* one of my kids did that at the place where i worked. i had told him to give me the bead but he wouldn't... two minutes later he came up to me crying with the bead up his nose. i made him stand over the trash, hold the free nostril closed and blow-the bead flew out... i think most kids go through something similar. this made me laugh today when i feel like total sh!te. thanks for the giggles!
OMG I had a cousin do the same exact thing as I was babysitting her. Called my mom, she called the dr. and what he told her to do was through a glass of water in her face. The shock and surprise made her cry and as her nose began to run, out popped the pearl. Relating this nostalgic cute poem for me, was very easy to do. Carol
Oh Mags, my love, this was worth a huge laugh to me. Wow, you little troublemaker, I long to know where your silver spoon has gone. I'm glad to know you were a sophisticated lady even at the age of three. Pumps and pearls, I can just see it all now. And Dad's finger in your nose, ouch. One of the restaurants I frequented had family pictures in the long foyer. One of them was an x-ray of John, the perfect image in his stomach...the ship from a Monopoly game! The funny stuff we do as kids...thanks for sharing this. much love, Nan
Aww! Really cute! :) Don't you just love memories like that? My sister was usually the one who put things up or in the holes in her head. hehe She is 13 months older so of course if she did it I was gonna do it but she always got things stuck and I'd run to get Mom. One of my memories from childhood was when my sister punched me in the mouth while we were outside playing on the swing set and my tooth fell out. I was so worried we wouldn't find it and I wouldn't get a visit from the tooth fairy. Even my sister was upset about it for me. LoL I wasn't mad she punched me, I just wanted my tooth. My Mommy eventually found it though. Haha Yeah, sry I'm rambling. hehe Great piece! :) -blt
*Big smiles* This was so cute! Instantly took me back to my own childhood...and the many trials my parents had with my curiosity :)
They simply did not understand how the curtains did have to be cut. And how it wasnt my fault I couldnt cut in a straight line, they would just have to be grateful I went through the trouble to fix the things :)
This is simple, funny and touching - and I know the little box above says 'I can relate' is a bad comment - but I can, I do and I will :)
as you would sauy mags hehe-that was cute I like the reminicing pieces they always give me those fuzzy feelings. Are guys supposed to get the warm fuzzys? hmmm maybe I take that part back-Im not sure yet. Nice mags lamemansterms
I go with the childhood memory and the cute, but might I suggest a few little changes to your prosody. Firstly I don't like that "shined like the sea". "Shone" seems better than "shined" and although the sea is sometimes shiny, it is not always so and I have the feel that the "sea" is along for the rhyme. What about "And mummy's pearls arrayed on me."? Next I don't think the breaking of the string of pearls was unbeknown. In fact, quite the opposite. It was known because you did it deliberately, so once again rhyme is determining your choice of "Unbeknown". A lovely word that both rhymes and fits in beautifully semantically with sin is "atone". try and write a line incorporating that word. Lastly and most leastly, why not the more natural "A pearl stuck up my nose"? As it stands your line seems to suggest that your father did the sticking rather than the discovering. I hope all this doesn't sound too critical . the poem was good. I am just trying to show you how to make it eevn better. Arthur
that is soooo cute! i never did that kinda stuff when i was little...at least not that i know of...mine were always scraped knees and twisted ankles... now i kinda wish i had a silly childhood story...man i was sheltered! lol
Submission Name: The Pearls
now i kinda wish i had a silly childhood story...man i was sheltered! lol