Description: i wrote this after a major blowout with my mom. im using it to test out a less flowing style of writing than i usually write. i basicly wrote it to just get out an ordinary feeling but i might as well post it...right?...
Ordinary Day -------------------------------------------
Movies ended.
I don't move.
I stay-
Wrapped in blankets-
in bed.
Tears fall-
like the rain-
outside my window.
Skies grey.
Pain races,
Through my body.
Blood mixes
with my tears.
My blood-
seeping out-
from a wound-
in my own wrist.
The cat stirs-
wakes-
licks her paw,
then continues her rest.
Bed stained-
Blood.
Pillow wet-
Tears.
Ground soaked-
Rain.
I rise-
turn movie off.
Continue my liquid life-
one more scarr, one less drop-
blood.
i like it. its different, vivid. but still powerful. its like clippings from an old movie playing in your head.
"Movies ended. I don't move. I stay- Wrapped in blankets- in bed. Tears fall- like the rain- outside my window. Skies grey."
i always love the tears and rain. and i loved how you intwinded these and alot of other things.
"Pillow wet- Tears. Ground soaked- Rain. I rise- turn movie off. Continue my liquid life- one more scarr, one less drop- blood."
i like this, alot. your liquid life. and the ending was. perfect.
the cat in the middle bringing in the realtity around you.
very very good job. usually when people rant or something of the sort it is nothing like this. you still pulled off a great poem, not just words. great job- jennifer
Submission Name: Ordinary Day
