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Roleplay | Viral news today | Music Theory

-Animated- Flower


Author: Geremy Smith
ASL Info:    20/M/Pennsylvania
Elite Ratio:    5.79 - 171 /145 /23
Words: 135
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 975
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 874



Description:

Personally...I am highly unsure where this came from. Mainly, not sure if I got the point across. But it was meant to be about working to appraciate and make others happy and wanting some response..but symbolizing them by a flower that is silent no matter how much attention you give to it

Maybe that makes sense...I don't know...but some feed back would be great, this is the first poem in a while. Enjoy...


-Animated- Flower


That I'm laying at the stem
Nurturing crude soil, bare hands
Holding this gently
My vase of
top hope decay

Watch as I
Fill these hopes all lined with sand
That the flower will take my hand
'Cause when I die
That I've planted will remember
...to forget

Can I seek?
All I seek is a flower
Responsive to feel in each breath
Take these dirt fingers
Used to nurture this from death

A bloom so tall
Twisted, full, and free
When you think it's to much
I'll take your hand
If you take mine

But you're planted in my vase
Poured the water one day at a time
I work to create what can't respond
Bringing pointless hope for what is mine.




Submitted on 2005-05-05 23:30:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  as this is, it is very, very good. I think it only needs a little tightening here and there. I think you can make it flow a little better. other than that, it's remarkable. I love the images and the feeling contained in each and every line. nice work.
| Posted on 2005-05-06 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]
  I love this so so much...I was hesitant in reading it but I am so so glad that I did...you are an awesome writer and I really really look for more...tah tah my friend
Fare Thee Well
Jazmine
| Posted on 2005-05-06 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]


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