This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -
 

Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Secret Crush


Author: painofthanatos
Elite Ratio:    4.32 - 684 /571 /86
Words: 189
Class/Type: Poetry /Longing
Total Views: 1457
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1084



Description:


Well #6…you told me to write…and now all I can do is sit and wait...paranoid about this cruddy piece...
It kind of has a rhyme scheme, except in that one stanza...ya...anyway...say what you'd like


Secret Crush



Sitting in class pretending to care
When all I can think of is this morning
As you carelessly ran
Your fingers through my hair

You crack a joke in my direction
Catching my vacant attention,
I stick out my tongue, And pretend to pout
But I am in love with your perfection

You blow me a kiss
To make it okay
I pretend to throw it to the ground -
The ultimate dis

But you keep going
Blowing more and more
Until I fear I'll fall over
Let's just hope I can keep it from showing

I'm so grateful for the dark room
So you can't see my cheeks
Turning the deepest shade of red
Crayola has ever known

And when class is over
You give me a hug
Assure me that you love me
And there’s nothing I prefer

Than to feel you near
But I’ll know you’ll never be mine
And each time I see you smile
My heart cries a crimson tear




Submitted on 2005-05-06 18:34:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  I remember a time like that. But its amazing how quickly some things end. It inspires some great poetry though. I really like this. I dont even know what else to say but Great Job :-)

*nikkki
| Posted on 2005-05-16 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
  this illustrates school yard crushes and romances quite well. The simple structure of the poem allows for the reader to be projected into the memories of such imagined romances and feel the pain of not knowing how to make things work and reveal their adoration.
| Posted on 2005-05-15 00:00:00 | by cainboy | [ Reply to This ]
  I'm sorry if this actually happened... and paranoia really sucks i know, i'm crazy. (just kidding, but i am always paranoid.) So this a was really good, again it is better than i can write. so you see you should keep writing, cause you write awesome stuff. THNX

- Nammy
| Posted on 2005-05-09 00:00:00 | by Namlooc20 | [ Reply to This ]
  sooooooo sad . . . i no what this feels like and its not nice at all - i loved the red theme you had going "Turning the deepest shade of red
Crayola has ever known", "My heart cries a crimson tear" - it's one colour representing two distinctly different feelings: i love you so much and yet you make me bleed inside( cozin pain).
Well written
Keep spreading the love
Nadia*
| Posted on 2005-05-09 00:00:00 | by AfricanPrincess | [ Reply to This ]
  I understand your feeling. Other have loved me but i can't have them for other reasons. You did very good. I have had many crushes where you watch every move they make and all you can do is look at them and pretend not to love yet you love very much. Good job
| Posted on 2005-05-07 00:00:00 | by pvt.ackerson | [ Reply to This ]
  "And when class is over
You give me a hug
Assure me that you love me
And there’s nothing I prefer

Than to feel you near
But I’ll know you’ll never be mine
And each time I see you smile
My heart cries a crimson tear"

that's pretty, but sad at the same time. i'm curious though, as to why this person would tell you that they love you if you can't have them? any prior relationship with this person? anyway, i think it was very well written, the rhyme scheme was kind of in and out, but hey, it works. it's not cruddy at all! i think we've all been there at one time or another. ...bb...

XoXo
~TaY~
| Posted on 2005-05-06 00:00:00 | by Phoenix2004 | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



57733