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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Packing Memories Awaydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ThatWasOnceMe
    ASL Info:    30/F/NC
    Elite Ratio:    3.71 - 197/194/53
    Words: 223
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 235
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1476



    Description:
       Just another love poem for the brokenhearted.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPacking Memories Awaydots
    -------------------------------------------



    Packing away memories that dangle mute on the wall
    Laying them thoughtfully in a fragile wooden crate
    Walking away from it, hearing a soft whispering call

    In that little wooden crate is a lonely photograph of you
    Laid mindfully on top a ballad wrote one remorse to late
    Your whispers are humming the lyrics you never knew

    Sorting through all the fragments not desired anymore
    Finding the picture of us on our unexpected last date
    My thoughts heard those restless lyrics you now adore

    Singing them is your photograph packed gently away
    It tenderly sings "Take your time to love me, I will wait"
    Nevertheless its my severed heart that won't allow me stay

    So the memories are gently packed away one by one
    Each with anxious glances back in time before this fate
    Boxes lined up all neatly by the door, all recalling is done.

    In the desolate bedroom where our memories were created
    Standing there gazing at that last precarious wooden crate
    One last verse escapes "My love for you would have waited"

    All the lingering memories are now gone off the wall
    Arranged thoughtfully each in a fragile mournful state
    Walking away from here, hearing a soft whispering call















    Submitted on 2005-05-06 23:25:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Excellent flow, easy to read, hard to handle! Apoem that most will be able to relato to. You handled the form of your poetry very well. I love the part about memories being packed gently away. All of us should keep memories gently packed, even the ones that hurt. Very original. Keep it up.
    | Posted on 2005-05-07 00:00:00 | by Chell | [ Reply to This ]
      Excellent poem. Very moving and the reader can feel the conflict of emotion as you pack up your memories. Great use of the metaphor, and I loved the ending, final or...?
    Very, very nice
    Be Happy
    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-05-07 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      Touching and sad. I could feel the hurt of the one packing away all the memories of a love, a life that was shared. This is comparable to my "old photographs" poem. I like the way you use the pictures and memories to described the life once had.. and now is gone..all packed away in a crate. A very touching and moving write.
    ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2005-05-07 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      awwww you make the tears well up in my eyes. this is a very beautiful poem, it's very sad. It tugs on my heartstrings...
    Keep Writing...
    -Caribou-
    | Posted on 2005-05-07 00:00:00 | by painofthanatos | [ Reply to This ]



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