Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: DRUGSdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: LameMansTerms
    ASL Info:    36/M/Hermosa Beach, Ca
    Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 713/1012/165
    Words: 48
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 855
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 440



    Description:
       I'm sure some of you have heard me say that -I dont believe that once your an addict allways an addict or alcoholic I really do believe that is bs
    I have had my share, and then some but overall I wouldn't change anything because I've grown from and became more in touch with myself. Believe me -it wasn't easy but I was very,very lucky. And had good very good people to fall back on -LITERALLY


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDRUGSdots
    -------------------------------------------


     Deep, deep I'm in deep.

      Reality is kept in my sock drawer if and
           when I sleep.

       Using has made me useless.

        Gripped around my neck day and night.

         Suspended in mid air might be the only way to end this.

    lamemansterms




    Submitted on 2005-05-07 07:35:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I think there could be a bit more here. There is no way indistinquishing this piece from someone whose never been there. I mean you went for a very minimalistic feel which can work i just don't think it provides quite enough, then again I babble on for an eternity so to each thier own. I like most lines. The description of reality being kept in a sock draw reference the few lucid periods most users have I only remeber half of my senior year and not very vividly. I was wondering if when talking about hanging yourself you were symbolizing a tourniquete i crack/ heroine?
    I read another in a bit.
    | Posted on 2006-04-22 00:00:00 | by shaman | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey mike. Nice poem. I think I know what you mean in this poem. It's like you get deep into drugs and I mean heavily messed up [censored]. And you keep destroying yourself with them. It's like you say reality is kept in a sock droor. To me I think of 2 things either drugs or a gun. Usually you would see a gun in the movies or on shows in a sock droor. The other thing I see from this poem is realizing that your life is useless because your so messed up on drugs and the only way out you see is to hang yourself. I was clean for 5 months. Then all because of one damn woman who actually kept me off drugs I went back for a couple days. Now im out of pills so I gues I wont be doin anything lately. I actually found a girl recently and well tomorrow I may ask her out. Things seem great with us and well I slowly realize the importance of not doing drugs. Pills and pcp and weed were always there for me in tough times and I gave in without a fight. I guess some people who are addicts never go back but some do. Talk to ya later -james
    | Posted on 2005-09-09 00:00:00 | by musclebound350 | [ Reply to This ]
      I am back. lol

    I love short poems, they usually are intense, and this one did not fail me.

    Reality is kept in my sock drawer if and
    when I sleep.

    I suggest u end the verse at drawer and start the new one with if seems to me will be of more effect.

    I loved the "Using has made me useless."
    it is so powerful, as if the cry of a man who is calling for help, who realized how deep he is.

    ur 4th verse expresses the addiction as a rope arounf ur neck, that is holding u back from being who u r and doing what u r capable of.

    and in the end u say "Suspended in mid air might be the only way to end this" and leave us suspended in mid air.

    Do u mean u want to hang urself? u will be suspended in the air.
    U want to keep using drugs despite ur realization that it is useless, and stay high all the time thus suspended in the air?

    Or maybe u will want to find new ways to make ur soul soar free thus suspended in the air?

    I think I am philosophing now! lol
    So I will mosey along.

    It is a good write though, I am glad u found new ways to be "suspended in mid air"

    Viviane
    | Posted on 2005-07-15 00:00:00 | by babyblue002 | [ Reply to This ]
      I can relate witht he poem so much. I mean I have had my share of that world too. Maybe not deep enough to be stuck in the ditch but the scar never quite leaves does it? The withdrawals! I do not want to recall. That was some 1 and a healf year I had. That was painful as ever.

    I was flunking at my school my inter personal relationships dissolved into nothingness. There was nothing. Yet there was this light that was shown to me. Life not only changed after that but I feel so much more confident with things. Yes the paranoia still makes it's appearance once in awhile but then again that is inevitable.

    The poem was simple yet so powerful.It evoked this .............i don't know but it was something. Great work........

    peace,
    | Posted on 2005-07-01 00:00:00 | by forestspirit | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this and definitely relate to what your saying...in your description and in the poem...i like the words and the way it sounds up until the last line....that just hit me as sounding off.
    on a side note, i completely agree with what you say about going through that has changed you, in a good way. i feel this about not only my drug problems but everything....it has all made me who i am today.
    and ya know the saying what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, i live by this, of course sometimes i think if i didn't sh*t would justbe unbearable.

    so good poem but i think a little tweaking at the end and maybe even longer if you feel it there.

    CC
    | Posted on 2005-05-18 00:00:00 | by C. Starr | [ Reply to This ]
      It's when we realize that it is no longer fun to do something, but yet it must be done that we have become dependant on something...and this is rarely a good thing. I love the line "using has made me useless"...in the midst of the grips of an addiction I can't think of a better, more simple way of describing it. And you do a fine, yet subtle job of describing it as a noose around your neck, and often times it does feel like the only way out is to let it hang you once and for all.
    | Posted on 2005-05-17 00:00:00 | by deadndreaming | [ Reply to This ]
      i believe that once your an addict you will always be one. we are different there. they may be inactive but i honestly believe that no matter what once you are a true addict even if you go sober 10 years you still are. except though with my dad. he has been sober 11 years used to be a big alcoholic and has deink since then but he lostthe taste for it so he doesnt drink so actually im not sure... well anyways to your poem okay when i read this i do not get drugs in my mind i think about rope or something to kill yourself. i dont know PM me please and let me know. also where you say "reality is kept in my sock drawer if and when i sleep." i do not get that what so ever. lol. i mean why would someone do a drug and sleep right afterwards. i dunno. oh is its saying that when you sleep you are goingto end it all (kill yourself) with a drug perhaps which is reality to you (the speaker in the poem). being dead? well i jsut got why you titled it drugs. because its the first letter in each line. i like that. it makes people think its about a drug. anyways,
    "Gripped around my neck day and night. Suspended in mid air might be the only way to end this."

    those lines is where i get that it would be about a rope to kill your self. well anyways i have to go for now. i though have much more to say on this piece.

    take care
    Jesi~
    | Posted on 2005-08-10 00:00:00 | by slntfirflm | [ Reply to This ]
      I had to think about this one for a minute, it's so short i felt like I missed something. I read through other peoples comments to try and expand my view to it and here's what I came up with.
    You showed your weakness, laid it out on the table, I can respect that. I have some memories of situations involving drugs and alcohol that I am not proud of but I wear them on my sleeve to show who I am now with that in my past. I like how you seem to be ok with the fact that you were down and out at one time. I agree with everyone else also on the Using has made me useless line. That made you most vulnerable, but I feel the poem wouldn't have been as impactful without it. The thought of spelling "DRUGS" with the first letter of each line is kind of qwarky, I can't decide if I like it or not. Lastly, I don't quite understand the last line...
    "Suspended in mid air might be the only way to end this."
    Are you referencing suicide like hanging yourself? Or are you talking about something else I can't quite find it.
    Overall I liked this poem a lot, I think I enjoyed it mostly becuase it's so true an personal. I also enjoy hearing someone overcome something, I wish you hte best.
    Take Care,
    -Tom
    | Posted on 2005-05-10 00:00:00 | by UnspokenDreamer | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey LMT. This was great. Very minimalistic, but how much you say without saying it! I've been on all sides of this issue and you've captured the essence of it with a few poignant lines.

    My favorite is...

    "Using has made me useless."

    Way to go, bro.
    | Posted on 2005-05-08 00:00:00 | by Vancrown | [ Reply to This ]
      As a recovering drug addict I know exactly where you are coming from in this peice. I love how you arranged the peice in vertical order, this made the peice a bit unique. If I were you though, I would remove the italics for a acrostic piece is so much more powerful when you leave it up to the reader.

    You have some dreadfully well chosen lines in here.
    "Using has made me useless.", this is a very powerful line and for most drug users it is totally accurate, but I don't think I was your typical drug user. I smoked weed, at least a twenty everyday and I mantained my 3.4 gpa quite easily. Also I wrote some of my best works when I was finished smoking an ounce or so. That is probably why quiting the stuff was so hard for me because I never really saw a good reason to stop doing it. I was selling it in mass quanties so I wasn't losing any money, in fact I was banking it in. I live in AZ, right near the border so it is so easy to get massive amounts of any drug you want to get your hands on.
    Thanks for the read, PEACE.
    | Posted on 2005-05-07 00:00:00 | by ConScribe | [ Reply to This ]
      You will forgive me, I hope, for seeing this as a kind of propaganda piece, the kind of thing the DARE program would have distributed to school kids, back when there was a DARE program (there is not anymore, is there?) I know it is not your intention, as you stated this in the description of the poem, but that is what the poem reads as.

    Short and powerful, though the whole first of each line spelling out a word is kind of overdone. I especially like the line "Reality is kept in my sock drawer if and when I sleep." I would not mind a longer poem on this topic from you -- not that you should make this longer, but you could write another about your experiences with drug abuse.
    | Posted on 2005-05-07 00:00:00 | by blackpearl | [ Reply to This ]
      Dude, I totally understand. I went through a time where I was using a lot of stuff (I'm talking like at least $1000 a week) and went through the withdrawls and almost-but-never-quite getting caught and stuff. And having to turn to dealing so that I could get my next hit. I've been clean for a little over a year (if you don't count a few miniscule relapses at the start). I'm pround that I've made it this far, shortly after I decided to get clean, a friend died from an overdose, from our "reliable" dealer. His death kind of slapped me in the face and proved why I should turn my life around. I'm not going ot deny the fact that I still occasionally drink and/or smoke weed (doesn't everyone???), but I'm seriously not proud of my past. I kow that you're thinking that I'm so young, how did I get into that, but I honestly don't remember. It just started out innocently, and just kind of moved. I don't agree with you that once an addict always an addict thing at all. People can stop smoking and never go back, why can't people stop drinking or doing cocaine the same way? Anything is possible, and hanging by your neck is not a solution. It just causes more chaos for the people left behind. Overdose is more honorable. You just get labeled as a bad kid. I do like whyat you wrote, it has like an honest sincerity behind it, but it just brings back some really bad memories for me. So, I guess that I can't really be objective on it. Meh.
    ~Jess
    | Posted on 2005-05-07 00:00:00 | by shmuzzelle | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree with Katia about removing the italics. When I first posted NYMPHET I put spaces after the first letter of each line and everyone said it would be better without. That way it is an unexpected surprise for those who are reading closely enough to catch it. I am glad you are no longer carrying that ol' monkey around on your back. The second and third lines are my favorite. xo Mags
    | Posted on 2005-05-07 00:00:00 | by Magnolia | [ Reply to This ]
      "Using has made me useless" - very powerful line, great play on words.

    I like the fact that you've kept this really short - this way, each sentence has even more impact on the reader. The way it feels as a random collection of emotions emphasised the intoxicated state of the narraror (or so it felt to me, I may well be totally off the point)

    I've written an acrostic recently, and someone here suggested I remove the italics - I would suggest the same. I removed mine, and it really did look more effective...Thats just a thought, though...

    All the best,

    Katia
    | Posted on 2005-05-07 00:00:00 | by Katia | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    57805

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry