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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Shadow Over Medots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Jengrr
    ASL Info:    20/McBain
    Elite Ratio:    5.85 - 95/104/22
    Words: 148
    Class/Type: Poetry/Mirror or Mask
    Total Views: 770
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 865



    Description:
       It seems like in life we have a hard time letting our true selves show, whether for fear, or some other reason. I like to blame my inability to be myself on others, but I have to finally come to the realization that the only person responsible is me.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsShadow Over Medots
    -------------------------------------------


    I wish inside I could be my own
    To stand and be seen, for me alone
    To shine as myself, my greatest plea
    But there's a shadow covering me

    An invisible prison, yet open gate
    A treacherous light concealing the hate
    A jealousy that consumes me within
    A fire that is burning, bright, undimmmed

    I do not see me when I look in a mirror
    I see a person dominated by fear
    The real me seems lost, so very far out of mind
    I see only lies, my twisted mask of a kind

    I no longer see myself with sane eyes
    I'm shrouded in my black disguise
    I try to reach out, groping blindly in the dark
    But in my heart I know, I'll never reach the mark

    And the only time I'll ever be free
    Is when I realize that shadow is me




    Submitted on 2005-05-07 12:41:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    2: I dunno...
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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Awe, the battle with one's self. It's normal to have a mask, everybody has one of some sort. It's impossible not to. There isn't one person in the worl who you can look at, or talk to for 5 minutes, and really know them. The question I would ask is: Is your mask a representaion of something you aren't, or is it a shield that hides only you're vulnerabilities but allows everything else to be shown? If the latter is true, I'd say you are ahead of most people. I enjoyed reading this.

    SAM
    | Posted on 2007-05-02 00:00:00 | by Samuel Bielz | [ Reply to This ]
      GREAT! Five letters cannot contain this, let me continue. Bottom - up.

    "And the only time I'll ever be free
    Is when I realize that shadow is me"

    That shadow, oh! The evil that lies within. I have known this feeling, like when you are sharing a plate with someone then u ask them to divide the meal, then when he gets more you feel cheated, infuriated!

    This is a wonderful poem concerning how evil the heart can be as Jeremiah observes. I have also come to know that this heart dies with Jesus living in you.

    There is a secret here, look Jeremiah 36:26 A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh.27And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments, and do [them].

    Good news. Believe it and u have recieved it.

    Surely this poem, highlights a great deal about the human condition and our search to be free. And once in a while even us who are free feel like we are not, but we are free, that is God's reality.

    All in all, good write( love the rhyme).
    | Posted on 2006-10-29 00:00:00 | by nevender | [ Reply to This ]
      I loved the idea, but I think that the flow is limited. I think that you could probably eliminate the me/my/etc. with something else and make it flow much better. The idea is great though. I've recently come to the same realization myself.

    Joe
    | Posted on 2005-09-02 00:00:00 | by thezeroman88 | [ Reply to This ]
      that was great. i think that your desire to be seen for who and what you really are can be reached through your poetry. I especially love the end when you admit that what's holding you back is really you.
    | Posted on 2005-07-08 00:00:00 | by thor_s avatar | [ Reply to This ]
      This is just a great poem! The honesty of the whole thing is really cool! You have won half the battle just realizing that the shadow exists. Lots of people just float around in denial and pretend their whole life! Once you see that the only person's opinion that matters is your own you will be less afraid to show the real you! Once you let yourself out, you'll truly be happy! Great poem! Take care!
    | Posted on 2005-06-29 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      Awww. I read this and realize that that was once me. But u know... i also realized that that was when i cared what others thought of me. And now, im unstoppable. I just decided that everyone else didn't matter because if i can't even make myself happy, then how the heck can they. HeHe. I look now and i see that i am easily amused and just content. I didn't need anyone else but me to help myself. and you did such a good job describing what you feel that u had me down to a T. And thats freakin awesome.

    Cat
    | Posted on 2005-06-24 00:00:00 | by dancer06 | [ Reply to This ]
      Nicely written. I enjoyed the flow of the poem, as well as the anger that is in it. By the way, never let anyone keep you from your dreams. Ciao.
    | Posted on 2005-05-19 00:00:00 | by BrokenAngel | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow...again. I think I am falling in love with your poetry. I love how this one rhymes, it also reads smoothely I also love the realization at the end. A deep poem. beautiful work darling...SAM
    | Posted on 2005-05-15 00:00:00 | by Samuel Bielz | [ Reply to This ]
      Good take on an otherwise over played subject
    -'the mirror&me'-

    Your opening styles with a great unknown and towards the middle stanza's you keep it hidden.
    Which is what I liked. The reveal at the end - the all about me deal - works well because u set the pace and do not overuse the reflections of yourself. Cool - Liked it.
    | Posted on 2005-05-11 00:00:00 | by childs | [ Reply to This ]
      I commend you for such a wonderful write...and for reaching that realization at such a young age that we are each responsible for our own happiness, our own lives. It took me a lot longer to reach that point. It sure makes things a lot clearer.. not easier mind you.. but a lot clearer..
    I really like this poem and how you refer to walking in your own shadow...and then realizing that shadow is who you really are.
    This one line said so much to me ...
    "An invisible prison, yet open gate"
    That's how it was for me for so many years.
    Thank you for sharing this..and it's good to know that you have come to realize those last two lines already.
    Take Care!
    ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2005-05-10 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a wonderful write and I like it so much I am adding it to my favorites list. I am also adding you to my stalk list because with this kind of talent I want to be sure and keep tabs on your work. This was very enjoyable to read and very well written. Keep up the outstanding work!
    !Doc`
    | Posted on 2005-05-10 00:00:00 | by dr_tigger | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree, this is an amazing poem. (like Liz) I like dark poems and the lines "I do not see me when I look in a mirror
    I see a person dominated by fear
    The real me seems lost, so very far out of mind
    I see only lies, my twisted mask of a kind." reminds me of myself. I tried before to hide the true me from others and after a while, I finally let others know that I am me, get use to it. I can't wait to read more from you.

    ~Bree~
    | Posted on 2005-05-07 00:00:00 | by Destined | [ Reply to This ]
      This an awesome peom,the lines "And the only time I'll ever be free
    Is when I realize that shadow is me" are my favorite, this poems reminds me of people who try to hard and get stuck doing things that they don't want to, the poem is dark but i like dark things, keep writing
    ~liz~
    | Posted on 2005-05-07 00:00:00 | by Fadingperson | [ Reply to This ]


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