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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Waitdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Tekin_Kashami
    ASL Info:    18/male/Houston, Texas
    Elite Ratio:    4.39 - 131/77/23
    Words: 92
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1045
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 606



    Description:
       Boring is out of place by the mood, but I think it strengthens the end.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWaitdots
    -------------------------------------------


    ... We wait...
    between life and death
    hoping to fall to one side

    And we wait

    Time flows like wind over a starlit lake
    And causes ripples on our world

    So we wait

    and wait

    for the waves to pass

    so we may travel on

    to a greater world

    Wait for life before your birth

    Wait for death after your born always wait
    never stop
    always stay behind your
    goal
    Never stop the journey

    for destinations get boring




    Submitted on 2005-05-07 15:15:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this is a very good poem

    it explains our journey in life
    since we have everlasting life we will always be on a journey
    I truly liked this poem and the positivity it stresses

    Keep Writing as it heals
    you definately have a talent and know you are reaching people

    I am one who can attest to that

    Take Care Ron


    thanks for your comments on Lifes Bitter Course and Hope I appreciate them

    Looking forward to seeing more posts from you
    keep in touch
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-10-20 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a good poem. There are just a suggestion I have for you and this piece; the form doesn't seem right. I think the only way the form you used works is if there is a specific reason that is noticable, otherwise it's distracting. Other than that, this piece seems good.
    Keep working on it.

    Rain
    | Posted on 2005-05-07 00:00:00 | by Rain | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
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    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
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    12. Does it feel original?



    57841

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

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