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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: the bulletdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DanceADream
    ASL Info:    16 f canada
    Elite Ratio:    5.05 - 205/153/29
    Words: 68
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 892
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 439



    Description:
       hey...we all know the feeling. this time it struck me hard.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe bulletdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The day the bullet struck my heart
    Was the day it all went down.
    Cold.
    Lifeless.
    Dead.

    The day the bullet struck my heart
    Was the day I knew I'd only be a walking shell of who i used to be.
    Bubbly.
    Happy.
    Sweet.

    The day the bullet struck my heart
    Was the day I knew I'd never love again.
    Lost.
    Abandoned.
    Broken.




    Submitted on 2005-05-08 19:29:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Yes, @ 14 you will find that this feeling may come several times.
    Kissing your cousin...did she know you had these feelings 2? I don't know who I'd be more peeved at.
    Good job expressing your feelings and just say his loss & move on girl! Love,Peace,Joy!
    | Posted on 2005-05-09 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      Aww thats so sad. Perfect description though. And yeah, of course I know the feeling...its just too bad that its not a good one. But I suppose these things happen. Anyways, this was very nicely done. I like it a lot. Great job :-)

    *nikkki
    | Posted on 2005-05-08 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      How many times and how many ways can one express the pain and sadness of losing love? I guess the ways are enumerable for you have found another and it is very well written. Using the bullet as a concept was quite creative. Being fourteen I think you could make one change, 2nd line last stanza:

    Was the day I knew I may never love again.

    Take it from a older guy, your going to love a few times before it's all over. Diamond Dan
    | Posted on 2005-05-08 00:00:00 | by dmm | [ Reply to This ]
      Yeah, I liked it. Nice style you wrote this in, and you certainly don't have to think about it, the message bashes you over the head.
    Could have been a bit longer even, although it's hard hitting the length it is now.
    Well done,
    Be Happy
    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-05-08 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]


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