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Rest in Peace


Author: sunnyrain
ASL Info:    16.f.wa.
Elite Ratio:    4.71 - 21 /35 /6
Words: 281
Class/Type: Poetry /Death
Total Views: 4871
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1737



Description:


In loving memory of my grandma, Isabel Edmonston, who passed away at the age of 87 on May 7, 2005.


Rest in Peace



A woman of intelligence and grace
I'll never again get to see her face.
Why did she go in such a sudden way?
A terrible death- happy Mother's Day.

I sit here wondering, wanting to know
was it her time? Was she ready to go?
With these painful tears running down my face
I hope she has gone to a better place.

What did she think as she started to die?
The hospital the last sight in her eyes.
Why was she taken from the inside out?
She was better than that, without a doubt.

As much as I wish that this wasn't true
I think, 'Was there something someone could do?'
For her final moments, I was not there
Did she think that it meant I did not care?

There aren't enough words to tell how I feel
I don't know how long this will take to heal
But eighty-seven years is a long life
She was the best mother, grandma, and wife.

Writing forever couldn't ease this pain.
I'm happy that the world is grey with rain.
My heart can't take this, my sobs loud and shrill
I'm gazing into a void I can't fill.

While another fresh bout of tears unfolds
I'm here with nothing and no one to hold.
There's solace and comfort knowing that she
at least lived long and happy as can be.

A person, a time, both beautiful past
The best parts of life never seem to last
As I wish, she goes to her final sleep
Grandma, may you rest forever in peace.

To Isabel Edmonston, who died on May 7, 2005.





Submitted on 2005-05-08 23:24:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  I think this was a well written poem. I lost my great grandmother of 83 years when I was around 8 so that's like 11 years ago. For some reason I really missed her but the odd thing is I dont remember much about her. I only saw her on holidays or special occasions. One thing I will never forget is before she was in a nursing home then died months later I had the chance to see her and we made puzzles. There wasn't much conversation if any but it was quite time. I wish I knew about her I only know about her from when she was in her nursing home. Well this was a nice poem. Toxic Rose said in one of her poems you two are having a poem contest on friendship. I'm pretty sure she said it was with you. Well anyways I'm gonna read the rest of your stuff. maybee comment a little shorter than this one. Good luck.
| Posted on 2005-05-21 00:00:00 | by musclebound350 | [ Reply to This ]
  Hayley... I'm so sorry about your Grandma. Every once in a while, we all go through these painful obstacles that leave us crushed. But this is an awesome poem- your best yet I think. It's true that poems or stories with deep emotion behind them end up being the best. She sure sounds like an awesome woman to have known... it makes ME want to have known her, too. To have lost someone like her must be devastating, but you captured the feeling really well- Especially the title. "Rest in peace" caught my attention right away. Ehh, I don't wanna say something bad about it... but... ugh. Here you go- the flow of this was sort of rough at times, like you tried to get this rhythm but couldn't exactly capture it. An example is-

"Did she think that it meant I did not care?"

I think that line should be something like,

"Did that make her think that I did not care?"

That might make the stanza a little more even. Other than that, though, you wrote this in a way that made the reader [me] picture clearly how you might have felt when you got the news. I can imagine the pain, the sorrow, the regret at not having seen her one more time- but also the feeling that I have to move on, as you do. So I hope that your grandmother's passing away doesn't make you think that she loves you any less- No matter what, you can count on her to help you.

Love you always!

From your one and only... Jelly Bean
| Posted on 2005-05-13 00:00:00 | by Toxic Rose | [ Reply to This ]
  Well, that was somehow really really interesting! I really am not sure whether I have read any of your poems before or not! I think I didn't! But I think after reading this one I'll try to read more of your poems at least to judge better.

And now about the poem itself; I think that this is a sadly good poem, of course the subject of the poem isn't new as I have read many poems before talking about such issue! The way it was presented was good, the poem is well written with nearly no spelling mistakes and that is a very important thing because I believe that spelling mistakes take alot from the beauty of any poem.

Usually I don't read depressed poems because I don't usually like them! I am not a fan of that kind of poetry and I rarely write it! But that doesn't mean that I don't read it! I read this one and I am so glad that I did!

And I must talk about the title ( Rest in Peace ), which was very very well chosen and captures the attention of the readers (it captured mine)! Actually I chose to read this poem because of it's title! Like I said I rarely read depressed poetry but the title totally captured my attention and so I had to read it and I'm glad that I did! And also the description which I believe to be a very important tool for the writer to use to capture the attention of the readers and to give a prior presentation to the poem and I think you somhehow succeeded in doing that as you used it in a simple and a sincere way!

I think that the emotion was flowing all over the poem and the sincerity too! And that is a very important thing, as I believe that the key to the succes of any poem is how sincere is it and how was it presented to the reader and did it touch him in a way or another! Because that is what poetry is all about! It is all about translating our emotions in to words.

I liked the part that says

"Writing forever couldn't ease this pain.
I'm happy the world is grey with rain.
My heart can't take this, my sobs loud and shrill
I'm gazing into a void I can't fill."

And also the last stanza "The finale" which was very good and well written too, saying;

"A person, a time, both beautiful past
The best parts of life never seem to last
As I wish, she goes to her final sleep
Grandma, may you rest forever in peace."

I want to talk about the rhyme and the flow as I think that it was somehow forced and didn't seem smooth for the most part!

Anyway I hope that my comment was somehow helpful to you and I'll end up my comment saying Good luck and keep it up.
| Posted on 2005-05-09 00:00:00 | by Yousef | [ Reply to This ]
  I often think of what I would do and say when my grandma dies. It's scary but I know it's gonna happen sooner or later. I liked this poem. you should put this in her obituary if you can. It would be a great memory to hold on to. Anyway just a couple of nitpick suggestions


Writing forever couldn't ease this pain.
I'm happy the world is grey with rain.
My heart can't take this, my sobs loud and shrill
I'm gazing into a void I can't fill.

In the last line can't should be can not it sounds better. Try to refrain from using contractions believe it or not it degrades the integrity of your poem but to each his own.

I sit here wondering, wanting to know
was it her time? Was she ready to go?
With these painful tears running down my face
I hope she's gone to a better place.

Last line should be she has. well you get the general idea. good write.

-janese
| Posted on 2005-05-09 00:00:00 | by Chi-Town Rose | [ Reply to This ]
  "In the night of death, hope sees a star... and listening love can hear the rustle of a wing." My sympanthy and prayer to you and yours. On this short voyage thru what we call life, I know death's emotion is powerful... but, hope will prevail and the knowledge of reunitment will over-come... the angels shall take care of you til then - and the one who is gone will be watching over all and in happiness! Again, sincere sympathy... and my prayer to you.
| Posted on 2005-05-09 00:00:00 | by Isaac | [ Reply to This ]
  My sincere condolences to you and your family. Your grandmother sounds like a beautiful woman indeed, and very lucky to have had such a beautful eulogy written for her.
Very flowing, effective use of rhyme.
I can relate because I felt many of these emotions myself, when my friend died.

'Was it her time? was she ready to go?'
Why did she go in such a sudden way?
What did she think as she started to die?

These lines are effective in their universality, questions we all ask. You aren't alone in asking them, it's only natural for us all to feel this way when a loved one passes on, and others may feel the same when we ourselves pass on.

You manage to cherish the memory of your grandmother, and at the same time, struggle with questions and feeling of regret-

For her final moments, I was not there
Did she think that it meant I did not care?
This is the line that hit me hardest, as it is the recurring question that haunted me after my friends death. That he would think I hadnt cared enough.

I'm here with nothing and no one to hold.
This line is heartbreaking, it is exactly how I felt. But I learnt, through time, that I had joyous memories to hold. With this being so recent, you need time to grieve. But you'll realise that your grandma hasnt really left you.


There's solace and comfort knowing that she
at least lived long and happy as can be.
This is a beautiful line.

I am inspired that you manged to write this beautiful piece of poetry, while in emotional pain.
Thank you for the read, it hit close to my heart.
Take care.

'There is a land of the dead and a land of the living and the bridge is love' A quote by Thornton Wilder. :)

P.S I recommend the book 'the five people you meet in heaven.' It is truly beautiful and an inspiring read, you might find comfort in it.
| Posted on 2005-05-08 00:00:00 | by pennyroyal tea | [ Reply to This ]
  Very nice work. My mother passed away last year, also near Mother's Day. I've read a lot of poems about death and I've written some myself. This is definitely one of the better ones.

Steve
| Posted on 2005-06-02 00:00:00 | by Lost Sheep | [ Reply to This ]


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