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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: They say to...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: hammyj
    ASL Info:    21/m/Notts UK
    Elite Ratio:    3.71 - 130/81/21
    Words: 69
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Depressed
    Total Views: 948
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 417



    Description:
       Just let me know


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThey say to...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    They say to write when your happy...
    they say to write when your sad...
    they say to write when your uptight...
    they say to write when your glad...
    they say to write when there are black clouds..
    they say to write and not to scream loud...
    they say to write when your at a loose end..
    they say to write '..it's a godsend'
    They
    I hate they




    Submitted on 2005-05-09 06:42:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      hmmmm this was a bit too repititious for my usual taste but I know it was supposed to add emphasis....I know what you mean tho, but that's just the thing, you, in my opinion seem to be a very talented writer, and that's what writers are known for:P just write what ur feeling....or even to an extent what someone else is feeling.
    peace
    | Posted on 2006-04-12 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a little to repetitive. I liked the idea of it, I just think it should have been worded a little different like maybe

    They say to write when your happy,
    and to write when your sad.
    They say to write when your uptight,
    and when your feeling glad

    I don't know, just a suggestion.
    | Posted on 2005-05-18 00:00:00 | by Geraldine | [ Reply to This ]
      I think the repetition of THEY is a good literary tool in this case. Hammy J HATES they. Probably the fact that "they" keep giving this unwarranted advice repeatedly fuels the hatred. To repeat it helps the reader to feel what he's feeling... and since "they" is what he hates, why would he need to use other terms for the same thing? Sometimes the best poetry comes when we aren't looking to be eloquent.
    | Posted on 2005-05-15 00:00:00 | by WhisperShout | [ Reply to This ]
      I hate they too...they suck, I should smack the piss out of them cause they really f-ing need it...man this was awesome and all the stuff that makes awesome is where you got this yo...nicely done.
    Fare Thee Well
    Jazmine
    | Posted on 2005-05-13 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      it has a good flow and it makes sense. I like it a lot. the repetition kind of got to me, though. I think you did a very good job and shouldnt compare this to other poems because this is a different poem and shouldnt be compared...? that didnt make sense. what im trying to say is that you did a good job and you should keep writing. : )
    | Posted on 2005-05-11 00:00:00 | by salamander | [ Reply to This ]
      I actually like this poem. I like the repetition in it. It makes it stand out on the they. Don't change it to he or she leave it at they. I feel that they is more of a point to society than one person where if you change it to he or she it will take away that affect. Than saying you don't care what they actually think proves that you don't follow what is said. It is a good poem. Keep it up. Hope to read more from you
    | Posted on 2005-05-10 00:00:00 | by sweet_innocence | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, writing can be an opening from the soul. It allows many emotions to escape yourself. And the best thing is that...no one can hear you. Well, not unless of course you post it for all to see. But, other then that...a pen and paper can be one's best friend. For they always listen.

    Li Li
    | Posted on 2005-05-09 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      compaired to your other poem.. im not all that impresed hunny.I think you and i both kno you can do way better!use your talent dont spoil it.this is to plain and bland for u.Your amazing and exsentric!im not trying to be rude im very srry im i come on a lil strong but i kno you can do better.
    | Posted on 2005-05-09 00:00:00 | by Rainin_Raspbery | [ Reply to This ]
      So just write then...

    It's up to you to write when you want I s'pose. I mostly write at the extremes of things. It always takes an event for me, be it a pondering or a happening.

    I think the repetition is a bit much on this one, but was worthy of a critique. Not too bad, keep at it.
    | Posted on 2005-05-09 00:00:00 | by Sanny | [ Reply to This ]


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