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    dots Submission Name: Death to (the ice cream store)dots

    Author: srcastic1
    ASL Info:    18/F/IA
    Elite Ratio:    6.29 - 96/97/28
    Words: 204
    Class/Type: Poetry/Comedy
    Total Views: 727
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1403

       I posted this once before, but had to take it down because I sort of used the name of my place of employment, (the ice cream store), and my district manager sort of found it and asked me to take it down, long story. But I really do like this poem and thought you guys might like it as well, so here it is in edited form.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDeath to (the ice cream store)dots

    Excessive Christmas spirit can certainly be found here,
    Apparent from behind the mall's only ice cream counter.
    Serving countless customers, smile glued to stricken face.
    Dreaming of my planned escape from this hellish place.

    See, I loathe the Christmas shoppers who arrive in endless trains,
    The frequent obese bingers, illiterates with tooth decay,
    Some demand in broken English or order DQ Blizzard shakes.
    Nineteen months of toleration, same consistently low pay.

    I believe I'll lose all sanity amidst these hectic holidays.
    I'll suggest the stupid learn to read, the fat to lose some weight.
    Then snap at any miscreant who dares to order wrong.
    And let a hostile woman know where to stick her extra straw.

    Then I'll run about the store creating chaos in my wake.
    I'll nuke a pound of cookie dough in the microwave.
    That shall be thrown combining hose water sprayed with determined zest,
    Harmless water fight transformed into a wet uniform contest.

    I'll mop in front of (the ice cream store) with devious delight,
    Then watch as every customer takes unexpected flight.
    At the conclusion of my ruckus, my helter-skelter scene,
    I'll quit and, purely out of spite, apply to Dairy Queen.

    Submitted on 2005-05-09 20:13:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I really like this poem. Very sarcastic (hence your user name) and humerous. I liked the rhyme scheme and the flow. This is a good piece, I hope to see more from you.
    | Posted on 2005-05-10 00:00:00 | by RedRoseofBlood | [ Reply to This ]
      HAHAHAH! Wow! That was funny! I bet every employee thinks like you do...although, not to such drastic measures! But this was great! My brother, who works at a cafe infested with tourists day-by-day, says the same things...in his own words, of course.

    Somethings that bothered me, though, were your flow and your rhyming scheme. The length and meter of some lines varied from others, and that kind of made this piece a choppy read. You could try reducing your ideas in some lines to make them equal. I was a bit confused on the rhyming scheme...at first, there was one, and then there wasn't, and when there was one again, it was much different than the other previous ones...you should probably look over that. But overall, great piece, got a laugh out of me
    | Posted on 2005-05-09 00:00:00 | by Tears of Azrael | [ Reply to This ]

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