Regret for the Red by Tekin

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Submission Name: Regret for the Red dots

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Author:	Tekin_Kashami
ASL Info:	13/male/Houston, Texas
Elite Ratio:	4.4 - 131/77/22
Words:	98

Class/Type:	Poetry/Death
Total Views:	272
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	612

Description:
I dunno, this was a five minute thing.

Regret for the Red dots

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As the blood splatters on the dirty floor
The life giving liquid is lost forevermore
While the red juices cover the earth
A power is lost, by the name of mirth
Now the blood on the floor resembles ruby flame
So the red knife tilts, heavy with it's shame

He stands above the body, the deadly high fading
For the killer's joy is now rapidly cascading
Seeds of regret fill up the cold soul
A heartless kill takes it's great toll
Tears carve through the weak man's face
To think he is strong is a human disgrace

Submitted on 2005-05-09 22:46:11 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Remarkably gifted morality tale about the trappings of death no one thinks about (regret, shame, sorrow, fear,etc.). The electronic media has made death such an act of God-like power, no other conclusion seems satisfying and any other resolution appears to be a sign of weakness. We have become a society of 'vidiots' without souls.
| Posted on 2005-10-20 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
  it is dark but it's good, there aren't and speeling errors but there are a few places where you could put a period like right at the end and so on and so forth. but other then that small thing it's great. The lines "For the killer's joy is now rapidly cascading
Seeds of regret fill up the cold soul
A heartless kill takes it's great toll
Tears carve through the weak man's face
To think he is strong is a human disgrace" are so power full and in my mind i got an image of a man standing over a body but then busting down with tears. good write
~liz~
| Posted on 2005-05-10 00:00:00 | by Fadingperson | [ Reply to This ]
  it's really dark and i think you are inspired by a action movie? kill bill?! LOL, i quite liked this piece but ends up too soon, and it's very short. still, it leaves a impact.
| Posted on 2005-05-10 00:00:00 | by vedanta19 | [ Reply to This ]
  This was cool but i agree with casket it is dark for a 12 year old try and go with your literacy skills in a lighter sense.
| Posted on 2005-05-10 00:00:00 | by hammyj | [ Reply to This ]

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