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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Regret for the Reddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Tekin_Kashami
    ASL Info:    18/male/Houston, Texas
    Elite Ratio:    4.39 - 131/77/23
    Words: 98
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 1007
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 612



    Description:
       I dunno, this was a five minute thing.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRegret for the Reddots
    -------------------------------------------


    As the blood splatters on the dirty floor
    The life giving liquid is lost forevermore
    While the red juices cover the earth
    A power is lost, by the name of mirth
    Now the blood on the floor resembles ruby flame
    So the red knife tilts, heavy with it's shame

    He stands above the body, the deadly high fading
    For the killer's joy is now rapidly cascading
    Seeds of regret fill up the cold soul
    A heartless kill takes it's great toll
    Tears carve through the weak man's face
    To think he is strong is a human disgrace




    Submitted on 2005-05-09 22:46:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Remarkably gifted morality tale about the trappings of death no one thinks about (regret, shame, sorrow, fear,etc.). The electronic media has made death such an act of God-like power, no other conclusion seems satisfying and any other resolution appears to be a sign of weakness. We have become a society of 'vidiots' without souls.
    | Posted on 2005-10-20 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      it is dark but it's good, there aren't and speeling errors but there are a few places where you could put a period like right at the end and so on and so forth. but other then that small thing it's great. The lines "For the killer's joy is now rapidly cascading
    Seeds of regret fill up the cold soul
    A heartless kill takes it's great toll
    Tears carve through the weak man's face
    To think he is strong is a human disgrace" are so power full and in my mind i got an image of a man standing over a body but then busting down with tears. good write
    ~liz~
    | Posted on 2005-05-10 00:00:00 | by Fadingperson | [ Reply to This ]
      it's really dark and i think you are inspired by a action movie? kill bill?! LOL, i quite liked this piece but ends up too soon, and it's very short. still, it leaves a impact.
    | Posted on 2005-05-10 00:00:00 | by vedanta19 | [ Reply to This ]
      This was cool but i agree with casket it is dark for a 12 year old try and go with your literacy skills in a lighter sense.
    | Posted on 2005-05-10 00:00:00 | by hammyj | [ Reply to This ]


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