Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: In Reguards of Your Foolishnessdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Amberdy
    ASL Info:    21/F/TX
    Elite Ratio:    4.37 - 240/232/59
    Words: 228
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 262
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1423



    Description:
       Well what can you really say when you get news that just hurts so bad? News that you really can't seem to comprehend, and you can't manage to grab the whole picture and the reasons behind what has happened, and none of it makes sense to you?.....What can you really do when you just don't want to accept the truth?

    This is NOT about a break-up or about how much I hate an ex boyfriend. It is about serious and personal matter....so I wont go into detail....but I wrote it maily to get out the frustrations of what is taking place. It just doesn't seem fair.

    There is not a set format or rhyme scheme, it's just whatever.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIn Reguards of Your Foolishnessdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The news came to me like a thief in the night,
    robbing me of any hopes I had for you,
    and of any thought that you would get right,
    taking every chance of revival that might have made it through to you,
    and stealing every single provision my heart sent out in
    your reguards.
    In moments time, it was all gone,
    pryed right from my aching hands,
    And there wasn't the slightest hint
    of anything I could do
    to keep it from taking place.
    You allowed me to be so broken-
    in the worst sort of way,
    And I fell apart as I stood in my place,
    wishing you could see the pain on my face.

    I can taste the secrets you hide behind your back,
    -they make me choke-...
    You still think I don't know they exist
    You still think I'm unaware, in the dark
    You still think I don't know that you're rediculously foolish.
    And you waste away the things that mattered to you...once upon a time,
    ...things you now value less than a dime
    And somehow you have found new desires,
    but I'll watch them fall away too,
    and wonder what you'll do
    when nothing's left for you.
    What will it take,
    how many hearts will break
    before you see how disgustingly ugly
    your reflection has become?






    Submitted on 2005-05-10 01:19:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      “What will it take, how many hearts will break before you see how disgustingly ugly your reflection has become?”

    Ouch!

    *rubs sore spot on arm*

    Nice one! Very full of superior and justified rage. Those are the best kinds- when someone is lower than you and you don’t need the soapbox because they are the dirt you stand on and you can just righteously go OFF! Check a few spellings though... ie- disgustingly...

    Lolful! I lyke!

    Peace, love and little green men look funny under blacklight
    - Madd Jak~
    | Posted on 2005-05-14 00:00:00 | by Six_Grey | [ Reply to This ]
      Sounds like a poem about finding out about someone cheating? It was a bit vague, but that's the impression I got from this. But I've been wrong before and I'll be wrong again :)

    This seems to be a venting poem, so I hope that you got some frustration out!

    Stw
    | Posted on 2005-05-10 00:00:00 | by Stwcjj | [ Reply to This ]
      I honestly am not even going to take a stab at what you are speaking of for I am lost. All I know is that the emotion in this was great, the wording was great, and the expression was great. You definitely seemed to have gotten a lot off your chest and I hope that it brought some relief. This is sorrowful, yet I hear strength behind it.

    Li Li
    | Posted on 2005-05-10 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      to me it seems like its about you as person and your soul how your changing but you fear not and your mad at yourselkf now cuz you look back at the past and think i would have never done that back then but why am i now your becoming a different person against your will it seems and your ashamed at what youve done or are doing to yourself
    thats what i got from this peice but i could b wrong
    anyways great read kiu
    -Darkwarrior
    | Posted on 2005-05-10 00:00:00 | by Darkwarrior | [ Reply to This ]
      the first verse i thought of cancer...that helpless feeling when someone you love is being eaten up from the inside and you can do nothing to help. then the second verse puts that person in a position of personal responsibility, so i think it must be drug addiction. i'm glad you posted this; nothing makes me more angry and more filled with pity than when people on here rave about how great drugs are. good writing, good poem :)
    | Posted on 2005-05-10 00:00:00 | by treybur | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a powerful piece full of anger and a whole list of emotions, only it's a bit hard to *fully* appreciate when you don't understand the situation. This is really awesome though, I like the strength behind this piece...
    *Never Stop Writing*
    -Caribou-
    | Posted on 2005-05-10 00:00:00 | by painofthanatos | [ Reply to This ]
      Very emotional, difficult to tell what you are referring
    to, but here’s a few thoughts from my side.
    “robbing me of any hopes I had for you, and of any
    thought that you would get right”: This indicates to me
    that it had to be a problem he struggled with in the past?

    “found new desires”: I don’t think this refers to a person, as it seems like this “secret” will destroy him if he continues to pursue it: “when nothing’s left for you”

    “disgustingly ugly your reflection has become”: You love
    this man dearly, that is obvious, but when he does this “thing”,
    you look at him with different eyes?

    Don’t know, sorry if im wrong, this secret, can it mabe be
    drugs of alcohol? Whatever it is, you seem to be trapped,
    cause you don’t wanna loose this guy.
    Loved it, great write and once again, sorry if I misinterpreted!
    | Posted on 2005-05-10 00:00:00 | by Lee | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    58166



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry