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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Dreaming?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: hammyj
    ASL Info:    21/m/Notts UK
    Elite Ratio:    3.71 - 130/81/21
    Words: 190
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 907
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1208



    Description:
       Let me know how it made you feel


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDreaming?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Going to slumber, you need the reprieve
    You soon drift off, no need to grieve
    Your eyes flicker twice as they slowly open
    You realise your sleep was broken.

    Whispering in a crowded room
    Whimpering in the sunlit gloom
    Reaching out for that hand to hold
    Finding it, itís oh so cold
    Shying away once again
    Looking for? You donít know when

    All at once there is thunderous fusion
    Watch around with such disillusion
    Everybodyís left you now
    Youíre on your own you wipe your brow
    The walls are tidally fading a wave
    You stand unreadily, nervously brave
    Unready with absolute concentration
    You are in this state of dramatization
    You watch everything in quick succession
    Trying to get a fix on your position

    Everythingís in front of you now
    There is no past, no who? What? How?
    And then again comes this darkening light
    You stand tall there is no fright

    And just as quickly as you came
    To be here, it all goes the same
    And as it all just fades away
    You open your eyes to another day.




    Submitted on 2005-05-10 03:18:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      This made me feel like life is just like am dream it can change so quick. It made me feel thinging i didnt want to feel or rember. But it a grate poem.
    | Posted on 2007-01-09 00:00:00 | by Cokesu | [ Reply to This ]
      This made me feel like life is just like am dream it can change so quick. It made me feel thinging i didnt want to feel or rember. But it a grate poem.
    | Posted on 2007-01-09 00:00:00 | by Cokesu | [ Reply to This ]
      Again man you [censored] rawk!!! this was perfect, your wording was just---wow....this actually made me think of a few things, for one thing at first it kind of felt like an mental institution....like your thoughts drifting into medicatly induced confusion....but then it felt to me like I was invisible trying to get anyone to help me and seeing everyone walk around, by and even through me without so much as a hesitation. great stuff....reminds me of something my friend described when he was really into pot lol (that's a good thing he had odd feelings all the time anyway) .
    peace
    | Posted on 2006-04-12 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      This write was a little hard for me to understand. You started off great at the beginning, but the stanza's got longer and longer and harder to understand.

    "All at once there is thunderous fusion
    Watch around with such disillusionx
    Everybodyís left you now
    Youíre on your own you wipe your brow"

    That part was becoming great until the third line. It messed up my rhythm and I had to start all over to get it right. But still, great poem.
    | Posted on 2005-07-18 00:00:00 | by SorrowfulMind | [ Reply to This ]
      hey i did as you asked and read the poem dream.
    i must say it is quite captivating, it reminds me of the way i used to write when i was in highschool, and the words you use i envy you so much i have a hard enough time spelling in english i loved the poem i really did and thank you for sharing it with me
    | Posted on 2005-08-02 00:00:00 | by Angel McCalmon | [ Reply to This ]
      um this made me feel alone and small, i felt a lil scared but yea to me too it seems more like a nightmare than a dream,well its great keep everything up!
    love and death:
    casey
    | Posted on 2005-08-10 00:00:00 | by Razorgirl | [ Reply to This ]
      Great write. It has a certian simplicity at first glance but then if you read it again there's so much more to it. I think that I've read it about 3 times now and it's even greater each time I read it. Good write.
    | Posted on 2005-05-11 00:00:00 | by ashlee_jane2003 | [ Reply to This ]
      This made me feel small...small and nervous and scared and I think that I loved this man...awesome words and you painted such a lovely picture with this.YAy You
    Buh Byes
    Jazmine
    | Posted on 2005-05-10 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      "Whispering in a crowded room
    Whimpering in the sunlit gloom
    Reaching out for that hand to hold
    Finding it, it&#8217;s oh so cold
    Shying away once again"..yes, this is nice.

    It's a great write but if you can include some paragraphs, it would be a smoother read too.

    Welcome to E.S!
    | Posted on 2005-05-10 00:00:00 | by vedanta19 | [ Reply to This ]


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