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    dots Submission Name: Gradual Thinkingdots

    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 193
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 792
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1130

       THis is really just another collaboration of thoughts and feelings...I'm not really asking for you to comment on the poem but maybe talk to me...I need something real man.I need to put something out there that represents me in some way...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGradual Thinkingdots

    I wonder where these words will come from
    Gradually I write I guess something will come of this
    At least it is real
    At least you now know

    That I am writing you a letter
    Trying desperately to explain
    What I feel inside
    And what I need

    I need you
    or some version of what I want
    I want someone who appreciates my beauty
    even though it isn't there
    I want someone that can see art
    and maybe play guitar
    maybe look so pretty just singin his songs

    I want someone to call me Jaz
    but I don't want you to try to hard
    because that hurts me
    because I need you to love me like I love this poetry

    I need to be a pet
    I guess I just need to express
    that I want to act my age
    and maybe have someone to share that with

    so I guess this is goodbye
    I have shared my words
    I guess you think you know me
    judgements are already forming in your head
    but that's real and I think I can dig it
    good or bad

    Submitted on 2005-05-10 11:46:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      I kind of liked this because skimming through your older stuff it looks ordered and feels composed (like the msg of the poem is about the arrival at a point and the deliberateness, rather than anything that is said) compared to those earlier efforts.

    Some of your earlier poems do not have any hooks in them but this does, its set out to achieve, and does, getting my attention.
    | Posted on 2015-08-27 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      Awww Jazzzy...its really really sad...stop gradully thinking damn it!..lol, j/p...it is dark and pitiful in a wayand i do like i alot so yeah,...i wil call you after skool 'morrow k?...well nvrmind cuz i forgots u moved well [censored] call me sometimes byr jazz
    | Posted on 2005-05-22 00:00:00 | by medicated | [ Reply to This ]
      fair enough, you just lay it out on the line as it is, takes a certain kind of character to do that, especially when you refrain from sugar coating it(that's relieving). As far as sonething real that expresses you, it'll come eventually, and you'll know it, just give it time and try to refrain from force, at least that's what i'd suggest, take it ez
    | Posted on 2005-05-12 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow Jaz
    I can't believe what this poem has made me feel - thanks for darkening down my day one sec i was happy and then after reading this i felt so dark. Wicked!
    And believe me my judgements of you are all good
    | Posted on 2005-05-11 00:00:00 | by hammyj | [ Reply to This ]

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