May 4th Drug Revolution by freak_like

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Submission Name: May 4th Drug Revolution dots

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Author:	freak_like_me
ASL Info:	18/female/Ireland
Elite Ratio:	4.79 - 111/109/41
Words:	130

Class/Type:	Poetry/Serious
Total Views:	221
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	908

Description:
Its about my brother. cannabis took his brain, he was ultimately the scariest lad on earth wen he started to go mad. he was in holywell, asylum unit for a few days becos of it. i recall the things now. Its ironic, that I smoke it myself despite the conditions it left my brother. Its the human cycle tho, i guess.....

May 4th Drug Revolution dots

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"No, hes not feeling himself today"
"Mummy, I know, its the drugs"

The door is torn from the frame
As he pumps his way through the kitchen
After a night of long soft smoking
A night of hard rocking doping

LSD, they say triggered the symptoms
But the can can took his thoughts
His goals, his dreams
His everlasting Intelligence

Years, of sucking dope
Mutilated his cell membranes
Then tucked into the nucleus
And rooted out his moral defences

Like an army of blood thirsty terminals
They terminate his mind
Dissolve his soul
Fry his last membrane to one

The central nerve breaks
The schizophrenia awakes
The body crumbles into a state of collapse

and those men in white come to get him.

Submitted on 2005-05-10 17:30:25 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
Oh wow. This is so sad, yet wonderfully written. It hits close to home too.
However I think you should put that beginning description of the poem and your bro up in the description box, cause I thought it was the start of the poem. I hope your bro is ok.

I liked how you used specific words and the images evoked by this piece are very effective. You have managed to write an anti drug piece without it being overly preachy, or noticable.

Years, of pumping dope
Mutilated his cell membranes
Then tucked into the nucleus
And rooted out his moral defences

This is so descriptive, and powerful. 'Rooted out his moral defences' I like this line, it's very intense.

Like an army of blood thirsty terminals
They terminate his mind
Dissolve his soul
Fry his last membrane to one
I like this stanza, its very saddening, the way you describe this destruction of a human being, especially your brother. However Im not sure terminals is the right word-did u mean termites?

Then the central nerve breaks
The skitzophrenica (spelt schizophrenia)rules the roost
The body collapses

And those guys in white come to get him

Theres not much more I can say except for the ending is very appropriate, and very saddening but your descriptions are very truthful.

Is that supposed to be roost or root?...

Thankyou for this read, and I hope your bro is fine now.. human cycle or not, I hope you can manage to break it for yourself one day too ;)
Peace out.
| Posted on 2005-05-10 00:00:00 | by pennyroyal tea | [ Reply to This ]
Eh drugs.... quite interesting. I personally, can never learn too much about the affects they have on people...the good AND the bad. Why do you take them? Just an honest question, I'm curious. The Beatles did drugs, such as LSD/acid and at first it was actually an accident. But it changed the way they thought sometimes, obviously, reflected in their songs... and after years of it they decided, it wasn't the way to go. They wanted a deeper self-understanding, to be enlightened. Maybe they just got addicted. I, personally, settle for the personal high off of life. I think everyone needs to get 'high' every now and then and I've found my way...and I guess you've found yours. I just think the side affects of mine are probably a bit nicer.

So, about the poem. I found it interesting to read how you described your brother's anger resulting from use of cannabis. Hey, keep up the writing.

-LucyDiamond
| Posted on 2005-06-03 00:00:00 | by LucyDiamond | [ Reply to This ]

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