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    dots Submission Name: Bring Me Backdots

    Author: Darkwarrior
    ASL Info:    27
    Elite Ratio:    3.51 - 60/63/33
    Words: 146
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1173
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 992

       this is and update to one of my other poems that remains untitled. its more in depth i enjoyed the "good old days" dont you i wish i could go back

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBring Me Backdots

    Purple clouds
    that melt into the sky
    dance on my walls
    for me to remind
    the little things
    in this world
    I used to cherish
    as a child,
    a sweet innocent girl

    and when life seems
    to pull me down
    I step inside
    a room of pride
    full with smiles
    instead of frowns
    spoke with truth
    not of lies

    Meant with freedom
    spelled out in black and white
    whats bad is wrong
    and what's good is right

    So when all the darkness passes me by
    and the gray comes about
    "not to live, rather die"
    is hidden in doubt
    to my shelter I return
    to clear my mind
    for there is no concern
    or negativity of any kind

    So to return to adolescense
    I stare into my lilacs
    and repeat the message
    "Bring me Back"

    Submitted on 2005-05-11 08:48:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Forget the myth of sadness and gettin pissed this write brings us down to earth with to me the comfort of family and wore out photos in times gone passed. Very creative the line

    hidden in doubt
    back to my shelter

    Within yourselves or with some one esle, that line aimed and hit the mark of your whole write.
    | Posted on 2005-05-11 00:00:00 | by childs | [ Reply to This ]
      truly powerful. i enjoyed reading it so very much. i especially enjoyed this stanza

    "Meant with freedom
    spelled out in black and white
    whats bad is wrong
    and what's good is right"

    again, very powerful. keep up the good work
    | Posted on 2005-05-11 00:00:00 | by frozenflame | [ Reply to This ]
      A nice poem. It has follow, the rhyme scheme is good. You have chosen correct words. I love the imagery which the poem gives us. It is like a beautiful painting to me.

    My favourite stanza is

    Purple clouds
    that melt into the sky
    dance on my walls
    for me to remind
    the little things
    in this world
    I used to cherish
    as a child,
    a sweet innocent girl

    well done with love shabnam
    | Posted on 2005-05-11 00:00:00 | by shabnam | [ Reply to This ]

    I love it when I find a serious poem that actually has rythm. There's far too much poetry that's nothing but the spilling out of empty words.

    This is a piece that begs to be put to music. Do you ever write lyrics?
    | Posted on 2005-05-11 00:00:00 | by Pax Parvani | [ Reply to This ]

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