Drifting by Ajyra

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Submission Name: Drifting dots

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Author:	Ajyra
ASL Info:	18/female
Elite Ratio:	4.19 - 65/57/22
Words:	159

Class/Type:	Lyrics/Misc
Total Views:	347
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1176

Description:
This is just a revision of a poem that I had converted into a song that I did a while back. Unfortunately, I lost the music for it, but the lyrics are still good as a poem, I think. This was back when the only fear the night held for me was that of loneliness (and yes, I know I'm being overly dramatic :p)

As always, comments are very much appreciated.
:3

Drifting dots

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Falling deeper and deeper,
Warm, in the arms of a lover,
A sweet unconsciousness,
Drifting into nothingness.

Wishes and truths, dreams and reality,
All blend together, a
Sweet nothingness, grasping
you and me in a grip, one none
Hope to break free of.

Falling deeper and deeper,
Happy, in the arms of a lover,
A sweet unconsciousness,
Drifting into nothingness.

Safe in the deep night, but
Pleased in the bright day, we
Wish to stay forever here, the
Beauty of sleep besides one another, each
Feeling the needs of the other, a
wistful Desire for warmth, tied
with a deep Wish for calm.

Falling deeper and deeper,
Happy, in the arms of a lover,
A sweet unconsciousness,
Drifting into nothingness.

The darkness is complete, all
held in loving tenderness, the
blackness enveloping, the
shadow in ecstasy.

Falling deeper and deeper,
Happy, in the arms of a lover,
A sweet unconsciousness,
Drifting into nothingness.

Submitted on 2005-05-11 15:56:13 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  It went from dark to happy. It also sounded like yiu were etheir dreaming or falling asleep. These wiuld make good lyrics as well and I liked the repeated stanzas
| Posted on 2005-05-13 00:00:00 | by Emmalee | [ Reply to This ]
  This would make a great song! I could almost feel arms wrapped around me while reading this. You've written about something and taken a subject that most people skim or graze over, mentioning it, but not embellishing on it. I enjoyed the read and hope to read more from you in the future!

*hugs a plenty*
southrnQT
| Posted on 2005-05-12 00:00:00 | by SouthrnQT | [ Reply to This ]
  Unless this is a song the repeated stanza is a bit too much for poetry. But other than that, this is a good write.
By your description, I thought it was going to be more depressing.. I'm glad it wasn't. It reads more like two people sharing in the joy of togetherness and holding on to each other.. till everything fades into nothingness..just the two of them...alone, together.
An enjoyable read.
~Sandra
| Posted on 2005-05-11 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]

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