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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Make waydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Tekin_Kashami
    ASL Info:    18/male/Houston, Texas
    Elite Ratio:    4.39 - 131/77/23
    Words: 124
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 832
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 796



    Description:
       Let's try this, it's random, but I'm taking a break from dark.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMake waydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Evil sweeps through the darkest night
    Shall you live to see bright sunlight?

    Joy makes way for demon flame
    Retracting to the shadows again
    Doth itís power grow weak without light?
    Or does a candle burn best in the deepest night?
    Does the fear of the shadow keep your torch cold?
    Can majestic flames be anything but bold?
    Fear bathes the earth in itís shadow and might
    Destroying that fear comes with shining light
    Doth fear tremble in submission to fear itself?
    Or does fear break under mirthful wealth?
    Does your power fail you in the place of sin?
    Can you find the courage to finally win?

    Evil sweeps through the darkest night
    Until evil makes way for what is right




    Submitted on 2005-05-11 20:21:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is a most interesting poem. I like how you have written this with so many deep questions and the lines at the beginning and the end really make a good impact to introduce and end this poem. I think you have used the word fear in this piece just a bit too much and maybe other words meaning the same thing would help to give this more character and variety. Overall, a very good poem and with a few changes this could really be a very noble and thought provoking poem. Take care.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-11-10 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      I think you have the most intriguing mind. You have alot of things to think about, and you put them in a wonderful poetic way.
    You know I'm not one to judge by age, but to think you are 12 just blows me away.
    You are very talented and I can see it will only become more intense as time goes by.
    Thank you for all your work, it gives me interesting things to read
    Denise
    | Posted on 2005-05-12 00:00:00 | by Forgiven | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice, nicely done, I like the change in the repetition of the opening at the end, very effective.
    "Fear bathes the earth in itís shadow and might
    Destroying that fear comes with shining light
    Doth fear tremble in submission to fear itself?
    Or does fear break under mirthful wealth?"
    Too many "fears" in here to sound good, read good, or make any sense.
    Other than that, I thought is was very good!
    Be Happy
    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-05-11 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]


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