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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Defrostdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: sug90
    ASL Info:    14/F/U.S.A.
    Elite Ratio:    3.21 - 69/93/34
    Words: 79
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 252
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 489



    Description:
       Ok, I know this is RELE bad but I was hoping that you guys could help me connect the thoughts better because as I was writing this I just wrote what came into my head and I don't think it works all the well. Plus I think it is kind of angst and emo and all of those other cliché things.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDefrostdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I walk into
    The silence
    And leave in awe
    I make myself stumble
    I can’t just watch
    You fall

    Now I close my eyes,
    Let the darkness fall,
    I like this dream or nightmare,
    Can’t tell what fits
    No tears to salt my face
    No joy to miss

    Somehow in the midst of this freezing life
    My soul craves your forbidden love
    Something to defrost my hope
    So I can suffer again




    Submitted on 2005-05-11 22:08:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      now this line could have been worded differently: Now I close my eyes
    you could have just said i close my eyes. in poetry every single word is very important and u might not need useless words like NOW
    | Posted on 2005-05-11 00:00:00 | by Napastak | [ Reply to This ]



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