[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Sea of Lustdots

    Author: Geraldine
    ASL Info:    25
    Elite Ratio:    3.2 - 241/296/80
    Words: 239
    Class/Type: Poetry/Trapped
    Total Views: 812
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1565

       This is about the father of my child, who after almost four years has come back into my life. We gave in to temptation, and complicated things. He has a girlfriend. He has cheated on me in the past. I feel dirty. But I love him so much!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSea of Lustdots

    We cut the tension, cured the hunger.
    In one night the lust set in, consumed us.
    We were swallowed by the sea,
    filled with waves of bliss and pure ecstasy.

    We crossed the line, passed our limit.
    We drowned ourselves in the lust,
    In just one night, we caved in, gave in.
    No testing the water, we dived right in.

    Between us we can feel it,
    they can see, Desire.
    We are craving something
    that just can't be.

    We can taste it,
    so sweet, so sweet
    As we fall deeper into
    this dark, hungry sea.

    We tried to fight the tides,
    too strong, we were to week.
    We gave in to the line
    that was railing us in.

    We exploded into the lustful
    sea of emotions.
    Disappear into the waves,
    coming out stained with sin.

    Temptation, just a taste,
    flowed through our veins,
    our minds, our bodies.
    It poisoned our souls.

    I can't rid this sweet, sinful taste.
    It stains me, covers me.
    I can't rid this filth,
    this filth that is your way, not mine.

    I've crossed over to your world.
    The dishonest words you've spoken,
    I've now repeated. I've contradicted,
    In this game, I've cheated.

    For the reason I hate you,
    I was impulsed to do so.
    I joined you, together we floated away.
    I am everything I hate in you.

    Submitted on 2005-05-12 10:23:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Great emotion! I liked how you used the sea to describe your temtation for lust. We have to careful with lust because it is a trap and once your exposed to it your caught up within it. It will have do things that seem good to the flesh, but in the end will leave your heart broken and lost. You say in your comments that you still love him, but he makes you feel dirty. That my friend is not true love. Let that it go. Sorry if I sound preachy. I've just been there.
    | Posted on 2005-05-12 00:00:00 | by lynn7 | [ Reply to This ]
      kudos on the use of words, like the methapors u used to describe the feeling, personally i would have emphased the use and description of the sea as it fits the theme so well but as it is, its great! good job
    | Posted on 2005-05-12 00:00:00 | by ax2x3m | [ Reply to This ]
      Holy shizzt. The emotions that this write portaryed are really deep. That is good that hes back in your lives and well even if you arent together its good for the child to see their daddy. Keep writing. Your very good
    hope to hear from ya
    | Posted on 2005-05-12 00:00:00 | by Star | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]