Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Trust a Shadowdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ax2x3m
    ASL Info:    21/m/Philippines
    Elite Ratio:    2.53 - 24/24/14
    Words: 114
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 976
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 686



    Description:
       hard to describe because it just flowed out in the span of 5 minutes... probably about being able to trust some despite his dark reputation or what others think of him...

    something like that


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTrust a Shadowdots
    -------------------------------------------


    stash me, a grip knock door haunts me
    we can hide and seek me
    as elements ascend from the floor
    and shake hands with the psyche

    lash me, stock pile of humanity crush me
    we can fly and die me
    try to ascend to a celestial opening
    and fall to a black hole sarcastic

    its branded in my brain
    a cross breed angel wing serial killer

    will you trust a shadow, risk nail bites
    will you trust a shadow, lose eye sight
    gather together, flock like birds
    carry us to a we and lose the ego

    with this we could build a skyline
    fly by, and highlight our day beautiful




    Submitted on 2005-05-12 10:43:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is really good and very intresting. I got a few really good images from it, and I love the way you wrote this. Keep up the great work!
    | Posted on 2005-05-12 00:00:00 | by Akili | [ Reply to This ]
      very interesting. Like Geraldine i didn't quite understand it at the beginning. THe words had a good flow to them and were veryn strong though, great write.
    | Posted on 2005-05-12 00:00:00 | by danflor4 | [ Reply to This ]
      not bad... it was a little choppy. will u trust a shadow stanza was nice. i could really feel the imagery there. the idea was nice but i feel it could have been presented a little better. not bad tho keep it up
    -sun
    | Posted on 2005-05-12 00:00:00 | by Sun | [ Reply to This ]
      It was good. I didn't really understand it at the beginning, but it got better the further I read. So it was a little confusing, but still pretty good.
    Geraldine
    | Posted on 2005-05-12 00:00:00 | by Geraldine | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    58523

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry