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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Four yearsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Dead_inside187
    ASL Info:    17/F/TN
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 14/15/3
    Words: 112
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Alone
    Total Views: 1004
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 750



    Description:
       I'm sort of overwhelmed right now. I promised Finley i would post so this is my first one...i don't really think its great...just a little part of me. Hope you enjoy.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFour yearsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    It takes four years
    to know me.
    It takes one year
    to destroy me.

    You watched me from afar.
    You thought me to be strange.
    You took me aside
    and made me part
    of your turbulent life.

    You became the better
    side of me.
    You made me smile
    when all was not well.
    You listened when i whined.
    You eased my mind.

    Turning my back
    to the world for a second.
    You left me without warning.
    Helplessly floating
    hoping to find refuge.
    Where has my refuge gone?
    Alone again in this sick sad world.

    It takes four years
    to know me.
    It takes one year
    to destroy me.




    Submitted on 2005-05-12 11:22:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      Hello, this is Alicia from class reading your poetry.
    I saw a lot of sadness in this poem, kind of reminds me of a few people I felt close to.
    Anyway, the beginning and end ties well together to keep the rest of the stanzas together. Makes me feel loneliness in this poem; I love these kinds of poems...
    | Posted on 2005-05-19 00:00:00 | by EmoCatGirl | [ Reply to This ]
      Well done! This poem was very well written. It had a good flow and I like the wording. I think everyone has that one person who can make you so happy, feel so secure, and then make you feel so alone. Don't you hate it how one person can have such control over heart! Good job, keep on writing!
    | Posted on 2005-05-18 00:00:00 | by Geraldine | [ Reply to This ]
      i really like the poem. it spoke to me definatly, wonderful piece. you have a great talant. thank you so much for sharing. I can't explain it, but it really spoeke to me.
    | Posted on 2005-05-14 00:00:00 | by Mommabear | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this is beautiful, you did a great job.
    I think I will have to rember the line-
    It takes four years
    to know me.
    It takes one year
    to destroy me.
    That is just so clever!
    Denise
    | Posted on 2005-05-13 00:00:00 | by Forgiven | [ Reply to This ]
      this was awesome. I really like the "cricle" that you made. what's it called? a "narrative loop?" yea, but I really like this poem. I know that a lot of people can relate so much to this type of poem because I'm pretty sure that we've all been there before. anyways, I hope to read some more of your stuff. I don't know when I'll be posting more of my stuff, but you know I will. don't forget the geeks. we miss you too. I'll see you on wednesday. turtle peace!

    cout<<"aLaN";
    | Posted on 2005-05-13 00:00:00 | by Gravitic | [ Reply to This ]
      i think this is great. i liked the second stanza the most. i dont know why u said u didnt like it everyone else does.
    -sun
    | Posted on 2005-05-13 00:00:00 | by Sun | [ Reply to This ]
      i think this would make a great song if it was expanded a little bit...i like it, kinda tiny stansas, but i think that aids it somewhat...good
    | Posted on 2005-05-12 00:00:00 | by fallenelf | [ Reply to This ]
      i thought this was really well written. i like it alot and can identify with the feeling of being alone. this is pretty good. keep it up great work
    | Posted on 2005-05-12 00:00:00 | by sweet_rayne | [ Reply to This ]


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    58525

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
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