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    dots Submission Name: reflectingdots

    Author: dismentled
    ASL Info:    26/M/"South of Heaven"
    Elite Ratio:    4.06 - 625/583/217
    Words: 898
    Class/Type: Poetry/Trapped
    Total Views: 815
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1593


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    confronting demons
    confronting fears
    a voice not spoken
    for years and years
    the child inside me
    who sat and wait
    speaks truth to me
    an undoubted fate
    a lengthy lesson
    a fortune true
    a lesson learned
    so hard but true
    sitting here grasping
    such profound facts
    it seems so simple
    ...ephiphanys past

    alone i'm leaft here
    once again
    aware of now
    what needs amends
    it's still not simple
    so far from right
    a picture broken
    or is my sight?

    what i can not say
    an understanding
    to my ways
    as demons fall
    fears fall away
    fore now i'm left;

    ...left with me

    Submitted on 2005-05-12 11:34:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Your poem is very interesting and overall its pretty good. It has a nice rhythm, its well expresses, and communicates alot of ideas. I do think though that the rhyming of every line detracts from the poem. I felt as though you felt like you had to rhyme every line and were therefore just rhyming for the sake of it.
    | Posted on 2005-05-12 00:00:00 | by Mimevas Lemqi | [ Reply to This ]

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