[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Guitar Bagboydots

    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 141
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1143
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 871

       THis was inspired by Kurt Cobains description of first seeing the Melvins in his journal...one of those 2 in the morn type of pieces...all filled with smoke in your head and dreams in the corner of your mind...but yeah I think that I like this but I would like to know what you think.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGuitar Bagboydots

    I found my muse
    standing in the corner of a grocery store
    little redneck town amongst the hypocrites and the religious
    standing there, a bagboy with fliers
    fliers for a band that no one would watch
    amongst the hypocrites and the religious
    and then there I was
    in a crowd of those that judge you
    and there you were onstage
    just standing there , a bagboy with a guitar
    playing for a band that no one wanted to hear
    amongst the hypocrites and the religious
    but you played the hell out of the guitar
    a guitar that no one would see
    no one would listen
    no one but me
    I found my muse
    standing in the corner of a grocery store
    standing onstage, a bagboy with a guitar
    amongst the hypocrites and the religious
    and one girl that fell in love

    Submitted on 2005-05-12 11:57:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i like "you played the hell out of the guitar"

    great line... i am in with some of the other comments...this is a bible belt area...lots of born again christians..but many are such hypocrites..one of my best friends became one and totally changed..became such a back stabber all the time preaching god in our faces...

    i think you have to live it..not talk it...and when people are judgemental..that is the biggest turn off to me...

    this poem turns me on though..because i want to cheer. "and one girl who fell in love"

    yes. amen.

    | Posted on 2011-07-26 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      man . . . this almost made me cry . . . . i could feel this. i could relate to this. i wanted to be that bagboy - that bagboy seemed like the most spiritual thing to be in this poem. it seemed like you provided the answer - at least for me, hehe. cause i remember gigs like that - playing to a buncha drunken hypocrites and religious dicks who preach about their sins and their fancy refridgerators . . . hmmm, i think i'm trailing off. anyway, it was great, i could relate very well. you're an awesome awesome awesome awesome writer.
    | Posted on 2005-09-14 00:00:00 | by Solomon Disease | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this. I myself live in a town of the hypocrites and religious. It is hard to be yourself in a town like that and I admire anyone who manages to be themselves with out being full of them selves. I like how you described him and how only you could appreciate his true talent. Great piece. :)

    | Posted on 2005-05-12 00:00:00 | by Oli | [ Reply to This ]
      "little redneck town amongst the hypocrites and the religious"

    Not very subtle, hm?

    Today I'm a capitalization Nazi. Capitaliiiize.
    | Posted on 2005-05-12 00:00:00 | by Pax Parvani | [ Reply to This ]
      I like it a lot. It almost gave me chills, which for me is saying something. I like how it's out of the ordinary and how you describe something that happens everyday in someone's life. The feeling of not quite belonging, but not caring. The feeling of hope and giving up at the same time... I dunno, maybe I'm just crazy. Good write. Ciao.
    | Posted on 2005-05-12 00:00:00 | by BrokenAngel | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Fasade written by jackz
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    untitled written by ShyOne
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    a safe place written by Daniel Barlow
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Every..... written by jackz
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Love written by saartha
    Shi written by ShyOne
    AI written by poetotoe
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Cover written by saartha
    Records I written by Raphael
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]