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adrift


Author: Deep Ace Thinks
ASL Info:    35/M/ Spring, TX
Elite Ratio:    2.75 - 124 /190 /60
Words: 99
Class/Type: Poetry /Depressed
Total Views: 1190
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 651



Description:


The company that I have worked for, for 10 years is being bought out.
We've known about it for months, but have been given NO details at all. It's like we are in limbo, not knowing what tomorrow will bring.
This poem, is a metaphor for how it makes me feel.


adrift



sunset bows to the curtain of night,

humbled by a vain blanket of stars.

the lunar spell entrances the sea,

as still air mocks my sails and scars.

one last night in this casket adrift,

upon currents unkind and far from home.

salt in my nose, damp in my shoes

surrounded by life, yet forever alone.

bring us the last thimble of wine.

we'll drink a toast to our bitter defeat,

raising our chalice to the vulture's prey,

to sweeten our meat for the carrion's feast.




Submitted on 2005-05-12 12:28:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Yes, the corporate take over scenario. DAMN THEM! My company is slowly being taken over on the inside by a religious group that I wont mention. So, I am getting out of it. Very dark and true your words are. Nicely done. Have a good one and keep smilin'
| Posted on 2005-05-13 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
  Yes, the corporate take over. I know this scenario all 2 well. You, my friend, have done a splendid job of capturing the poetic suffering of the unknown in this piece.
I know how frustrating it must feel. I send you my thoughts and prayers friend!
love,peace,joy! tifster
| Posted on 2005-05-12 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
  This is really well written. I like how you slowly make it feel dark, and unwanted party. I really like how you make him seem so bored. You give such a beautiful, but dark version of the night sky, and the sea. I enjoyed it. Thank you.
-Aya
| Posted on 2005-05-12 00:00:00 | by EmpathicAya | [ Reply to This ]
  God...that is amazing! Its a really sort of dark, satirical piece. I can't think of a single critisism to give! The rhyme is good, the ideas are lovely, and you express yourself with the most admirable fluid flow of thought. The only piece of advice I should probably give you is that you should put a little more spacing in the poem. Its a little hard to read the way it is...sometimes you wind up losing your place. But other than that, (which isn't really a fault), your work is most commendable and I look foreward to read future poems by you!
| Posted on 2005-05-12 00:00:00 | by Mimevas Lemqi | [ Reply to This ]


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