That's funny, I don't feel old.
I don't think I'm nearly of age to be considered old,
save for by those teenaged hoodlums
with their rap music and their shennanegans,
or those punks in their early 20s
with their drugs and their booze
and their casual sex.
But lately, there are times when the universe conspires to prove to me
that I am old,
as if in some cosmic form of divine intervention.
When I get up from a deep chair,
the cracking of my knees is only barely overshadowed
by my grunt of exertion.
When I listen to the radio and recall,
back when I was a kid,
when "hell", "damn", and "ass" were taboo,
let alone "pussy" or "dick".
Any time I utter the phrase
"back when I was a kid",
that is only a small step away
from "back in my day".
When music that I listened to in high school
can be heard in instrumental form
in any grocery store or elevator.
When I start thinking that
my daughter won't be caught dead in the outfits
that girls these days wear.
Shit, I am old...
time to start looking at mid-life crisis vehicles.
What do hip kids these days drive? |
Submission Name: Mid-Life Crisis
