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    dots Submission Name: Apprenticed to Passiondots

    Author: beatthedrum
    ASL Info:    55- F - Southern CA USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.18 - 881/810/122
    Words: 33
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1055
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 243

       Lessons in love

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsApprenticed to Passiondots

    Apprenticed to passion,
    I learn lessons,
    turning pages
    in the text
    of ecstasy.
    But sometimes
    rapture turns
    on me.
    Tough classes,
    as I pursue
    an advanced

    Submitted on 2005-05-12 23:26:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
    that would be my first thought: there should be more than this because you have simply set a scene here. you have given us a synopsis of how it is to love, be loved and get hurt on the way and to that end you are telling us little that we don't know already.
    I would like to see the journey described fully, in the same travelogue manner as this but with a dissection of each painful or joyous interlude.
    patently more than able to give us this; it's simply down to whether you want to or not.
    | Posted on 2005-05-13 00:00:00 | by Awkward | [ Reply to This ]
      nice twist with the bit about turning, if that makes sense. the nice thing is that you dont specifically say what it is that you are passionate about. athough i think i know what most would guess it could also be applied to music, art whatever...its just nice to have that bit more flexablity that allows that you might be passionate about more than one thing ;)
    thanks for sharing
    short but sweet

    | Posted on 2005-05-13 00:00:00 | by ellisa | [ Reply to This ]
      Short, but effective in its' conveyance of the sentiment. I liked the word play and the emotion came through effectively. It is difficult to write a short piece and have the meaning make it larger. Nice work.
    | Posted on 2005-06-15 00:00:00 | by Malcolm Bishop | [ Reply to This ]
      Ha! I like this! I've been... how do you say... "around the block once or twice," and I'm no expert and probably never will be. However, learning learning, learning will never end. And when it comes to passion... well no one will ever fully be versed on this subject. As to your piece... simple, effective; your use of words, to me, make the reader happy to understand much without reading a book. Cheers!
    | Posted on 2005-05-12 00:00:00 | by Isaac | [ Reply to This ]

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