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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Fantasy of illusionsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Sun
    ASL Info:    18/m/tn
    Elite Ratio:    3.39 - 43/54/14
    Words: 170
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1482
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1040



    Description:
       my vision of a parallel world enjoy.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFantasy of illusionsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Go to a place where tear drops fall
    close your eyes and feel them all
    raining down for the black sky above
    nobody knows what it is our God crys of.

    Go to a place where civil war
    claims our tainted lives again.
    we'll be reborn just like before
    with the fresh fall of a new rain.

    He crys we dont understand
    turns his back in shame
    then bears an evil grin
    there's no such thing as a justified sin.

    His own Creation keeps him alive.
    Our fear of Him fuels his fire.
    The stronger her gets the more power he'll thrive
    An ancient evil. A dark desire.

    He promises beauties beyond fantasies.
    Our fantacies drive us insane.
    By the time we learn of the lies we didnt see
    we're dead and reborn with the fresh fall of a new rain

    His guilt and our lives fall from his eyes
    We grow up again and fantacize
    As we grow old with and ancient lie.




    Submitted on 2005-05-13 09:24:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Go to a place where civil war
    claims our tainted lives again.
    we'll be reborn just like before
    with the fresh fall of a new rain.>>

    Were is mispelled here. I thought this was a good piece. I would also opt to omit evil grin though... with Bush in office evil is becoming a hated word. LOL.

    Anyhow you show great potential in your writing. I'm not just blowing smoke.
    | Posted on 2006-02-27 00:00:00 | by thetwilight | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmm, over all it was okay. It didnt really flow. I like the meaning, and I understood, it, execpt again, it didnt flow very well.
    | Posted on 2005-05-13 00:00:00 | by fallenpopcorn10 | [ Reply to This ]


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