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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Do you love me now?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Poetry_Princess
    ASL Info:    16/no thanks/garage floor
    Elite Ratio:    2.38 - 24/26/12
    Words: 222
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 688
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1350



    Description:
       it's about a girl...who cheats on her man...and throughout this poetic work of art, she alternates between loving him...and hating him...this is so not a real life thing...just real emotional when i wrote it. Enjoy!


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    dotsDo you love me now?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    as much as i would like to think
    it could all be gone in one blink
    one act of infidelity
    could ruin it all for me

    do you love me now?
    with everything i've done
    do you love me now?
    i dont want to go back to then
    dont wanna travel to way back when
    because it's over for us
    you have hurt me enough
    no need to fight and fuss
    nothing left to discuss
    but do you love me now?

    please just walk out the door
    no longer need you anymore
    i dont know why you want to stay
    i never loved you anyway
    this heart no longer belongs to you
    i tried so hard to stay true
    but now since its over and done
    do you still think im the one?

    it was never supposed to end
    one you, i wont depend
    my broken heart needs to mend
    my love, ill never send

    dont want it to end like this
    i will forever miss your kiss

    its been years now
    since i lost your heart
    whether we're near or far
    we'll never be apart
    as much as i'd like to hide
    in you, i still confide
    even though i cheated on you
    i'll always love you too
    (written on april 30, 2005)
    -patrice a.




    Submitted on 2005-05-13 12:15:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i can relate to this in more ways than one. this is a really good peice. one line though starts with one i think that maybe you meant on. but i could be wrong. any how it was really well written and i had not trouble following along with what was going on in the peice. great work i really liked this. keep it up
    | Posted on 2005-05-19 00:00:00 | by sweet_rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      There is a line in here that begins with one and I believe you meant to use on so you might want to look into that. I feel that the emotions are depicted sufficently, but more detail would make it a stronger piece. there are a few lines in here that just don't need to be, you may wish to weed out some of the weaker lines. The rhymr feels a bit forced to me but it almost has a Dr. suess element to it and it wasn't annoying. I think that this was at least worth the read. thanks. peace
    | Posted on 2005-05-15 00:00:00 | by shaman | [ Reply to This ]
      the poem does contradict itself because the woman alternates between love and hate for the man whom she cheated on...but i'm happy you guys liked it...
    | Posted on 2005-05-14 00:00:00 | by Poetry_Princess | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought it was a pretty good poem. A little irratic. You contradicted yourself a few times, but I guess that is waht poetry is all about, right! Anyways, good work!
    | Posted on 2005-05-13 00:00:00 | by Geraldine | [ Reply to This ]
      I got a little confused as to if the person in the poem wants the other to love them, or go away. But it had nice style and good rythm.
    | Posted on 2005-05-13 00:00:00 | by onetruesmartass | [ Reply to This ]


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