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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Hatreddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Areinaka
    ASL Info:    20, F, Oregon, USA
    Elite Ratio:    3.91 - 130/114/29
    Words: 33
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1018
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 305



    Description:
       Alright, another acrostic alliteration. There was an alliteration right there in the first sentence.... Totally did not mean to do that. Anyway, I thought of the first and second lines while walking home today. (5-12-05) The rest just came to me. I do not like the word dislike in the last line. If you can think of something better, let me know. Have a great and wonderful day!!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHatreddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Hell's horror hinders heart's happiness.
    Angry animosity attacks all around.
    Terror tortures, testing trembling tenacity.
    Rampant rage runs recklessly, ruining revel.
    Every emotion ends, excluding evil ecstasy.
    Deadly dislike does death's dastardly deeds.




    Submitted on 2005-05-13 12:24:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I love alliteration, if done well.. and this is. I think I would keep "dislike" as it seems to fit with that line okay.
    An extreme message of hate and how it effects the world around us.. well expressed.

    Makes us even more thankful for each day of peace .. and having those around that we love.

    Good write.
    ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2005-09-29 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      This was powerful and filled with rage. You nailed it on the proverbial head with some really explosive wording. Well done!
    | Posted on 2005-05-17 00:00:00 | by The Gadfly | [ Reply to This ]
      yeah, loving the alliteration! original in the sense that, well, must poems don't have alliteration throughout the whole thing. and you maintained it perfectly throughout the whole poem. well, great job. ...bb..

    XoXo
    ~TaY~
    | Posted on 2005-05-13 00:00:00 | by Phoenix2004 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really good. I don't see many kinds of writings like these. Your words were well put. I would change nothing about it. It gives out a good message to everone. I think a lot of people need to read this...I'm not talking about on here just all over the world...everyone should see about hatred. Great job on this one....

    Much love to ya,
    Mikki**
    | Posted on 2005-05-13 00:00:00 | by MiKkI25 | [ Reply to This ]
      DAMAGE is what i think would go perfectly there other than that i really like this write so much feeling and information in such few words very good kiu
    -Darkwarrior
    | Posted on 2005-05-13 00:00:00 | by Darkwarrior | [ Reply to This ]
      Although I seemed to trip over the language too many times on the first read, the second was fluent and I have to say this was quite a refreshing write. The alliteration was brilliantly maintained throughout and it kinda took away from the sinister language. The only problem was that first time through, but great write.
    | Posted on 2005-05-13 00:00:00 | by JimweiZERO | [ Reply to This ]


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