This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -
 

Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

The Key to My Heart


Author: painofthanatos
Elite Ratio:    4.32 - 684 /571 /86
Words: 107
Class/Type: Poetry /Fuck it all
Total Views: 598
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 798



Description:


*He* loves me, he's a hundred miles away. He imagines a picket fence and kids and a dog
Only I don't imagine myself in that yard
*You* don't know what to think, all you know is I kissed you...
Yeah...life is turmoil...


The Key to My Heart



These tears won't stop falling
These cuts won't stop bleeding

He loves me
You're confused
But one thing's the same
Neither of you will talk to me

He's looking through old love letters
Looking for the answers
You're looking through everyone's minds
Looking for the answers
Why don't either of you ask me?

I am the keeper of the key
-The Key to My Heart-
Neither of you knows
Where exactly to find the lock

I'll give you a hint
It's not there
Stop Staring

He's looking for the answers
You're looking for the answers
No one's asking the right questions...




Submitted on 2005-05-13 13:34:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  Well I'm not the first to pick these lines, but what can I say, They are good!

I'll give you a hint
It's not there
Stop Staring

So true, and yes I have fallen victim to wandering eyes also, but hey is it really my fault when today's shirts are ever more revealing and its almost inviting me in.

Anyways, the poem was not about staring down someones shirt, but more of two people.
I like how it is like two things are going on at the same time; all the thoughts rushing in his head and at the same time yours. It really helps to show the confusion of the whole situation without confusing the poem. All in all I really liked this poem. Good Job!
| Posted on 2005-05-18 00:00:00 | by Snowball_24 | [ Reply to This ]
  I really like this piece, it had a nice flow and fell into place naturally. The topic is all too familiar and you have captured the indecision and confusion perfectly in prose. another good piece from lady Paino
| Posted on 2005-05-15 00:00:00 | by cainboy | [ Reply to This ]
  haha, yeah i love that stanza:

"I'll give you a hint
It's not there
Stop Staring"

yeah, uh huh, stop looking at my chest man! i hate when guys do that... anyway, this was nice. i'm curious though, why don't you imagine yourself in that yard? ...bb...

XoXo
~TaY~
| Posted on 2005-05-13 00:00:00 | by Phoenix2004 | [ Reply to This ]
  i definately liked this, except the concept of a "key to your heart" is something that is somewhat over-used.

[[I'll give you a hint
It's not there
Stop Staring]]
haha that didnt happen to stem from the day when everyone was looking down your shirt, did it? lmao

sophie
| Posted on 2005-05-13 00:00:00 | by sudie | [ Reply to This ]
  this is interesting caught in the middle of two people who are both in love with you but share one thing in common theyre to scared or shy to ask to b w/ u i dont kno that what i gto for this.. great read kiu
-Darkwarrior
| Posted on 2005-05-13 00:00:00 | by Darkwarrior | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



58698