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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Mirrorsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ConScribe
    ASL Info:    19/M/Tucson,AZ
    Elite Ratio:    5.11 - 262/360/143
    Words: 127
    Class/Type: Poetry/Sorry
    Total Views: 647
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 792



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMirrorsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    O' what a way to see yourself
    In seven different ways,
    In seven different mirrors at once,
    With only one vision left to haunt my days,
    That of my own.

    I sometimes wish that I were blind
    To relieve me from my rapture
    These mirrors mock my every move
    And I'm never free from their capture,
    That I created.

    My face is scarred in ecstasy
    A grace hardly ever seen,
    I alone see the horrors of my sins
    The ones that turned me to a queen,
    That I never was before.

    Now pity tears what is left
    After I marked in pain, becoming royalty
    To become the queen of sympathy
    Something perfection could never be,
    That of a sickness.




    Submitted on 2005-05-13 19:20:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Very well written. There's one part that I believe I've found a grammatical error, but I may be wrong.

    The ones that turned my to a queen

    Is the my supposed to be me? Other than that, very well done. Ciao.
    | Posted on 2005-05-16 00:00:00 | by BrokenAngel | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem is exaclty how i feel today. This is the first poem in this site that i read today and it captures my mood at the present moment; only i can see myself through the eyes of the mirror. I can see myself and see all the flaws and sins i have committed and feel so sick to my stomach for the same things i did just by looking in those mirrors.

    It just fitted me today so well and i am glad i read it cause now i feel a bit better. hopefully i won't get back to the same mood earlier.

    in terms of the poem, i would change certain things cause it doesn't really fit with the structure and the rhythm.

    But i love some of the lines cause it portrays truthful words of life that we do not always realize...

    You really captured me in the very first line...i just love the line "O' what a way to see yourself"

    Overall, i love it...especially for today cause that is so the way i feel right now and i can really relate to this.

    Peace...Irina
    | Posted on 2005-05-14 00:00:00 | by charmedidentity | [ Reply to This ]
      Wazup Consribe. It's been while since i've dropped in on you!

    WHen I read this i think of the mirros in my life. FOr me those mirrors are the judgin eyes of some of the people i share a world with. Yep, immediatly when I read those first five lines i thought of them. I like how you mention that the most haunting reflection is our own because we truely are our harshest critict. Sometimes i wish that I were blind in the since that i wish that i didn't have to deal with those mirrors. That i did not have to share a world with those people. WHen I read about the "grace hardly ever seen" i think about how most of those people will never really know the real me and that i'm actually a pretty cool guy. I dont understand teh part about being a queen though. Maybe you could help me out. What i got from this poem maybe nothing at all what you were trying to convey but who's says that that makes me wrong?!?!

    Spoken

    PS. I've got a piece called "crawl into a quite corner" that seems to portray the same ideas expressed here. Maybe you could check it out and tell me if you agree.

    SPoken
    | Posted on 2005-05-13 00:00:00 | by spoken | [ Reply to This ]


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