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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Echoes of a long-lost glorydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Jengrr
    ASL Info:    20/McBain
    Elite Ratio:    5.85 - 95/104/22
    Words: 153
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 860
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1159



    Description:
       One of the hardest things I've ever attempted is to try to put into words the beauty of music, the raw power it has. This song is also a lament of sorts, a metaphor for many minglings of joy and grief.


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    dotsEchoes of a long-lost glorydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Wrapped softly in twilight shadow
    Of the ancient church
    The polished mahogany gleams

    Ivory keys glint through the dust
    Outlined by strands of hard ebony
    Strings aged by long years of abandon

    A venerable, quivering, wrinkled hand
    Reaches out through the enveloping dark
    Caresses a cherished old friend
    Gently swirling the dust through the air

    A pause…
    Then a solitary note resounds
    Tolling through the oppressive cloak of silence

    A rolling chord
    A pealing stroke of sorrow
    An awesome sweep
    Shakes the foundations

    A grand crescendo thunders into the gloom
    Harmony Raging
    Passionate and Inspiring
    Soaring to the heavens

    A swell of sheer power
    Chilling to the soul
    Pure and Haunting
    Echoes of a long-lost glory

    A single perfect tear-drop
    Falls upon the keys
    Ending the rapture

    One last vibrating chord
    One last loving stroke
    A shriveled hand withdrawn
    Then forever silence




    Submitted on 2005-05-13 21:00:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      What a powerful piece.
    The descriptions are spot on.
    Every word you chose was perfect, you gave very strong imagery.
    "A grand crescendo thunders into the gloom", that was definitely the climax for me, I love how the piece goes from subtle to louder and louder (thus, the crescendo) and then comes back down to "forever silence". You expressed everything so perfectly in words...I totally saw the crescendo in my mind.

    Please keep writing...
    TRAVWELL!

    PS...Thanks so much for your thoughtful comment on "Jesus is Okay". I am glad you enjoyed the piece. Although I don't currently believe in Jesus, I have thought a lot about him, and will continue to do so. I will never "throw away" Jesus, he will always be in my mind. I think religion is a wonderful thing, it really "saves" some people. Even though I am not particularly religious now, I would never push religion away. Who knows, in the future I may become a hardcore believer. I think it's wonderful that you have found Jesus and that you're able to accept him, that is one of the hardest things to do in life, to be able to have faith. If only I could become as strong a believer as you. Please don't think that you've offended me with your thoughts, I really love hearing what people think. Thank you so much for your comment!
    | Posted on 2006-10-14 00:00:00 | by travwell | [ Reply to This ]
      I loved it. And I don't say that about everything. That had to be difficult to write, like you said, music does in an instant what words need a book for. Thats actually the reason I like poetry, because it is the closest that words come to music. This poem is one of my favorites ever. Looking forward to seeing more.

    I thought the title was extremely clever. The song being the echoes of the glory that the hands once had. I like the love shown between the hands and the keys. I'd love to see what you think of some of my writings.

    Joe
    | Posted on 2005-09-02 00:00:00 | by thezeroman88 | [ Reply to This ]
      amazing. loved every bit of it. you description was absolutely incredible. your detail was creative and original. your words were so crisp and imaginable. you showed different emotions like sadness and happiness and a bit sorrow. you explained the beauty of music perfectly to me. lovely.
    | Posted on 2005-07-11 00:00:00 | by poeticblindness | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh my God. Awesome. This brings me back. When I was in Colorado, I was the church Pianist. When I was reading this, I could almost see it. Sunday After church I would stay in the sanctuary alone, and admire the beauty of the sun peeking through the stained glass windows onto the Baldwin Grand piano. I wrote most of my music there. This was kind of spooky for me, sort of like a Deja Vu. The imagery you described is similar to my memories of my home church. I absolutely love this poem...Im mesmorised...@};-SAM
    | Posted on 2005-05-15 00:00:00 | by Samuel Bielz | [ Reply to This ]
      I think maybe one reason the power of music is so hard to harness with words is because music is a universal language. I do think you did a fine job here, you certainly expressed a lot of emotions just as music will do,so, I'l just say a job well done. I enjoyed the read Jen.
    !Doc`
    | Posted on 2005-05-15 00:00:00 | by dr_tigger | [ Reply to This ]
      I loved this.. straight off, this is going in my favorites. You succeeded in capturing music's emotional power. This poem was amazing. It showed sadness, as well as happiness, and Weakness as well as power. The Hapiness being that the musician was complete in the music, the sadness that the music would never be heard again. The Weakness and power... The Wrinkled old hands, while weak themselves, have a power far greater than many younger people... they have power to sway primal emotions with huanting chords, and awaken glorious feeling deep within our souls.
    | Posted on 2005-05-13 00:00:00 | by thor_s avatar | [ Reply to This ]


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