This was a tasty read...awesome ideas and the ending really brings it together...you have talent and I like that this poem was really original and the first stanza was probably my favorite.Good Job. Jazmine
Of all the stuff I've read of yours so far, I like this one best. I like the idea of the frilly stuff usually described as a good thing, being turned on its head as negative. I think you could stay with that theme when talking about the stars. I also like the imagery of the clouds being the solid and the blue of the sky being the interloper, the temporary. I do think you could improve the line "everything dies, or will die"-to say everything will die, is saying everything dies. You could refine the tenses-"everything is dead, or soon will be" or "everything will die, or is dead".. something to that effect. You could also expand, if you wanted, to talk about all the bad stuff that DOES last forever since youve been talking about the good that doesn't. That is IF you wanted to expand. I really like this one!