Description: this is the last part of a three part poem, "suicide note" was the first "Aftermath: suicide note" was the second...and this is the third....hope you enjoy
The funeral was held on a cold Saturday morning
While the family all gathered round in mourning
It was a foggy and damp October day
Nobody had something happy to say
As they all gathered round, the preacher began his sad song
They all stood in a cemetery all morning long
Everyone waited patiently for their turn to place a rose
No one can believe the answer that she chose
The answer to the question “How do I deal with this?”
She thought it be better if she didn’t exist
So now her family must cry for her
While others deal with it while turning to liqueur
Everyone has there own way to deal with the pain
But for some whom can’t they just go insane
When the preacher finally places the casket in the ground
For a little moment tears were the only sound
As they covered the casket over with dirt
Some finally realized how much it really hurt
As they all turned away to go back to their cars
Across the sky appear two shooting stars
They all stare in awe and make a silent prayer
For the one person for whom they really care
It’ll be hard to get back to the normal day routine
But soon will forget about their dear kristine
after reading this i had tears in my eyes and left feeling very sad and alone, the peice is very emotional and true with the effects of suicide. after being one of the people who has thought an attempted it and then been on the other side and delt with the after math i can in a sense relate to this all to well, very good write i really dont know what else to say except great job...Joy
after reading the other two this one is very emotional and its a very good write i never thought a sequal or two to a poem would be good but you pulled it off and they all three are very good
There are no stars on cold october mornings. That is all that I can complain about here. I was left feeling sad about this piece, the finality of death and death of a loved one is so raw. There are many lines in this piece that stick with me, I won't critique this poem too much, becasue they are feelings and feelings are never wrong.. But as I said there are still no stars on cold october mornings...
I like this poem, gives me chills (in a good way). It has an awesome rhyme scheme, and flows very well. Its almost like you didn't intend for it to rhyme, but the words just happenned to do so. I only noticed 2 things, and I probably only noticed them because I was almost an English major...1st, in the first 2 lines, although you use different words, morning, and mourning seems repetitive. Second..."It was a foggy and damp October day Nobody had something happy to say", That implies that a non-existent being actually had something to say...Try saying this. "Nobody had ANYTHING happy to say" I really did love this poem. IT was an Awesome peice of art. I look forward to reading more of your work. Also, you should read one of mine called "Absence of light"...Ciao!
writing is theraputic,and i hope it is so.despair and saddness displayed nicely,and i liked this personally.tradgedy is something new for me,and i dont process it well
Submission Name: Funeral
